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Old 08-05-2014, 07:47 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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My boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to get married because of reddit

http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromoso...t_want_to_get/

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For all of my life I always thought I would get married one day and have children. When I met my boyfriend I was sure that he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Things between us were great we moved in together after 6 months of dating and things were great. My boyfriend compared to other guys I dated had the best clean up habits, and we never argued about chores or any of that stuff.

We started making wedding plans however, every time we would set a time frame or so he would back off. I talked to my friends and family they told me to just give him space and that things will sort themselves out. I took a more hands off approach however, that didn't work either. I eventually confronted him if we are ever going to get married and he told me it will be a couple months after his younger sister's wedding.

I was ecstatic, and I started making plans on who would be my bridesmaids, where it would be, all the little details. However, when time started to roll around he told me that he is up for getting married he just doesn't want the legal trouble. He told me that he is okay with having a wedding ceremony, but we would not be getting a marriage contract.

I fought with him a lot on this, we argued and basically his fears are that he will end up like spreadsheet husband, or I would divorce him and ruin him financially. I asked him if he would accept getting a prenup, but he told me no, that those can be thrown out. He never had these fears of marriage until reddit. He has read a lot of the men's rights sections and they have convinced him that marriage is horrible.

I don't know what to do now, had I known this was his position earlier I would never have stayed with him. I don't want to be someone's girlfriend when I am 40,50. I want to have the respect of being his wife. I want to know that he will give me and our future family the commitment of marriage. As of now, my options are rather bleak.

a). Go along with his deal, have a wedding but no marriage. and hope for the best.

b). Look to try to find someone new in my 30s and get married and have kids in an extremely short and rushed time line.

c). Try to find someone, end up alone and never get to experience motherhood.

If you ladies have any tips for me please share.
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Old 08-06-2014, 11:10 AM   #76
Gonzo Gonzo is offline
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I think the point has been missed.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:20 PM   #77
Anyong Bluth Anyong Bluth is offline
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Originally Posted by Gonzo View Post


I think the point has been missed.
We're awaiting the final landing point based upon the trajectory.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:23 PM   #78
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
Nothing wrong with a healthy fear so long as it doesn't run your life.

Who the **** am I kidding?

Don't get married. Not in any legal way in the US. It is way too easy to get married and way too hard to get divorced.
There is nothing - LET ME REPEAT - there is nothing a man gains by marriage and he can only lose...
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:25 PM   #79
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:29 PM   #80
WhiteWhale WhiteWhale is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
There is nothing - LET ME REPEAT - there is nothing a man gains by marriage and he can only lose...
Yup.

The laws are basically from a time when women didn't work. Career women were rare.

That in no way is representative of society today. 70% of college enrollees are women. The whole book on divorce laws needs rewritten. It's absurdly outdated.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:30 PM   #81
saphojunkie saphojunkie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
There is nothing - LET ME REPEAT - there is nothing a man gains by marriage and he can only lose...
Don't be stupid.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:30 PM   #82
Donger Donger is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
There is nothing - LET ME REPEAT - there is nothing a man gains by marriage and he can only lose...
Actually, it's a pretty good way to gain a wife.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:31 PM   #83
Fish Fish is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Actually, it's a pretty good way to gain a wife.
He meant positive gains...
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:31 PM   #84
WhiteWhale WhiteWhale is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saphojunkie View Post
I know. It's also super hard being white.
I don't get this.

You support misandry?

I'm not bashing feminism, and there was no room for confusion in my post. Misandry and misogyny are bad in my opinion. I thought most people agreed, but I guess you don't.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:33 PM   #85
Donger Donger is online now
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Originally Posted by Fish View Post
He meant positive gains...
Oh.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:35 PM   #86
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Here's something positive about marriage - it probably makes the woman you love happy.

Isn't that kind of what your goal is? What is the point of a relationship?
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:39 PM   #87
Skyy God Skyy God is offline
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:39 PM   #88
Donger Donger is online now
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Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
Here's something positive about marriage - it probably makes the woman you love happy.

Isn't that kind of what your goal is? What is the point of a relationship?
Sure. It also provides stability for one's kids (if it's a happy marriage).
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:40 PM   #89
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is online now
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Two words: prenuptial agreement.
They don't work and you're instantly painted as a scumbag for getting a woman to sign on.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:42 PM   #90
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