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Old 08-05-2014, 07:47 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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My boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to get married because of reddit
http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromoso...t_want_to_get/

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For all of my life I always thought I would get married one day and have children. When I met my boyfriend I was sure that he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Things between us were great we moved in together after 6 months of dating and things were great. My boyfriend compared to other guys I dated had the best clean up habits, and we never argued about chores or any of that stuff.

We started making wedding plans however, every time we would set a time frame or so he would back off. I talked to my friends and family they told me to just give him space and that things will sort themselves out. I took a more hands off approach however, that didn't work either. I eventually confronted him if we are ever going to get married and he told me it will be a couple months after his younger sister's wedding.

I was ecstatic, and I started making plans on who would be my bridesmaids, where it would be, all the little details. However, when time started to roll around he told me that he is up for getting married he just doesn't want the legal trouble. He told me that he is okay with having a wedding ceremony, but we would not be getting a marriage contract.

I fought with him a lot on this, we argued and basically his fears are that he will end up like spreadsheet husband, or I would divorce him and ruin him financially. I asked him if he would accept getting a prenup, but he told me no, that those can be thrown out. He never had these fears of marriage until reddit. He has read a lot of the men's rights sections and they have convinced him that marriage is horrible.

I don't know what to do now, had I known this was his position earlier I would never have stayed with him. I don't want to be someone's girlfriend when I am 40,50. I want to have the respect of being his wife. I want to know that he will give me and our future family the commitment of marriage. As of now, my options are rather bleak.

a). Go along with his deal, have a wedding but no marriage. and hope for the best.

b). Look to try to find someone new in my 30s and get married and have kids in an extremely short and rushed time line.

c). Try to find someone, end up alone and never get to experience motherhood.

If you ladies have any tips for me please share.
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Old 08-05-2014, 11:31 PM   #46
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Both of them seem annoying. Or lame. Or something. I wish I had something better to do at 1030 at night other than participating in this thread.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:21 AM   #47
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This isn't a damned courtroom. The question is does she have a right to be pissed, and the answer is, obviously, yes
No. He's made his choice and she has to come to terms with that.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:34 AM   #48
Kyle DeLexus Kyle DeLexus is offline
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He should just start hiding money in some offshore accounts before he ties the knot and all will be well.
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Old 08-06-2014, 12:50 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower View Post
No. He's made his choice and she has to come to terms with that.
bullshit. If you believe this, then you are reeruned

He knew long, long before she got serious, that he had bought into that whole moronic paranoid stupid male rights bullshit, but he was not going to admit his reluctance to marriage until he was cowardly forced into admitting it.
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Old 08-06-2014, 01:17 AM   #50
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Originally Posted by alnorth View Post
bullshit. If you believe this, then you are reeruned

He knew long, long before she got serious, that he had bought into that whole moronic paranoid stupid male rights bullshit, but he was not going to admit his reluctance to marriage until he was cowardly forced into admitting it.
Doesn't matter when he decided to be reluctant about marriage. He decided that he doesn't want to be legally joined to the woman and that is his right.
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Old 08-06-2014, 01:25 AM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower View Post
Doesn't matter when he decided to be reluctant about marriage. He decided that he doesn't want to be legally joined to the woman and that is his right.
Sure it is. Now it's her right to decide whether she wants to stay with him or dump him.

Given that he seems like a bit of a dishonest coward, for her sake, I hope she dumps him and doesn't look back.
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Old 08-06-2014, 01:25 AM   #52
Anyong Bluth Anyong Bluth is offline
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Originally Posted by Kyle DeLexus View Post
He should just start hiding money in some offshore accounts before he ties the knot and all will be well.
Most states will recognize assets of both parties before marriage and make them not subject to division.
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Old 08-06-2014, 01:39 AM   #53
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is offline
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Originally Posted by MagicHef View Post
Sure it is. Now it's her right to decide whether she wants to stay with him or dump him.

Given that he seems like a bit of a dishonest coward, for her sake, I hope she dumps him and doesn't look back.
And she is 100% correct if she chooses to part ways with the guy.

I'm sorry and I know my posting history is going to be used against me when it comes to relationships, but being a child of divorce and knowing so many people who split or chose not to split even in instances of spousal infidelity I will not ever say it's in any man's best interests to get married.

Guy mmentioned in OP is probably a knuckledragger. Woman in OP is too fixated on the idea that pregnancy is the only way to be a mother. GoChiefs is clearly a troll that offers extremely little to this online community.

None of that negates what I've arrived upon as a concept: marriage laws and Western societal conventions are GENERALLY not favorable to men when it comes to wealth and parental rights. None of the above outweighs the fact that men and women are just as likely to cheat on each other and thus undermine the concept of marriage.
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Old 08-06-2014, 01:40 AM   #54
Anyong Bluth Anyong Bluth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alnorth View Post
bullshit. If you believe this, then you are reeruned

He knew long, long before she got serious, that he had bought into that whole moronic paranoid stupid male rights bullshit, but he was not going to admit his reluctance to marriage until he was cowardly forced into admitting it.
I'm not defending the idiot- they're both idiots, but it's hardly bullshit. He has a right to change his position and wish to marry her.

Is he a jackass for reaching his conclusion based off a bunch of hypersensitive and jaded reddit user's posts? I'd say there's little doubt that he is.

People divorce their spouses all the time- even against the wishes of the other spouse. Which in part is the genus of no fault divorce.


Everyone is entitled to self autonomy, but that doesn't mean one's actions don't make you one of the world's biggest douchebags.

Ultimately, why does she want to marry someone who doesn't want to marry her. In retrospect, she will look back and be thankful she didn't make the mistake of committing to this guy.
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Old 08-06-2014, 01:54 AM   #55
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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GoChiefs is clearly a troll that offers extremely little to this online community.


Thanks.
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Old 08-06-2014, 05:21 AM   #56
Rausch Rausch is offline
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So after 6 months of dating she moves in and immediately starts talking about getting married.

He doesn't seem in a hurry so she gives him an ultimatum because it's always was SHE'S wanted her whole life.

Man decides he doesn't want to get legally married and he's the dick?

Seriously?...
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Old 08-06-2014, 05:29 AM   #57
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I never knew I could impact someone by my reddit comments. Glad I could help the guy out.
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Old 08-06-2014, 06:13 AM   #58
Garcia Bronco Garcia Bronco is offline
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This is a serious issue for people. Getting married can be a seriously bad decision for men based on state and federal law and "family court" isn t really fair for men at all.
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Old 08-06-2014, 06:26 AM   #59
Chief_For_Life58 Chief_For_Life58 is offline
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I'm scared to get married
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Old 08-06-2014, 06:36 AM   #60
Katipan Katipan is offline
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I'm scared to get married
Nothing wrong with a healthy fear so long as it doesn't run your life.

Who the **** am I kidding?

Don't get married. Not in any legal way in the US. It is way too easy to get married and way too hard to get divorced.
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