This sucks..Divorce. What is the best Online "D" site to use?

[Holladay]

Been married for 24 yrs. 2 kids (18 son and 20 daughter), he is going Ks Nat Guard/KU(Pit St) ROTC route to be an officer, she graduates in 3 yrs, major int'l studies (whatever that is) minor bus minor soc.

Wife is German, met whilst in the Army Frankfurt. Did Desert Storm etc . Left Army as Capt and started my own bus. You look back, the hand writing is on the wall.

To get married, I called the Justice of the Peace in E-town (outside Ft Knox)..what does it take to get married. 30 min, $50. Put me down for 1:00pm next day. Next call was to an attourney...what does it take to get divorced. Uncontested...$200 and 30 min. Done. Married..1992.

She is a firecracker...good and bad. Smart and a Neat Freak. Through the yrs there have been many issues. Won't go into them yet. Asked a client which happens to be a Judge, years ago about keeping the kids (after wife went weirdo and put her hand through a glass window). Judge said no way to get kids???

Years flash forward. Stuff happens...small. We have talked D.

Last couple points. She was away in Germany for a month. She is, as mentioned before, a neat freak. I built a stairway into her loft (major deal), sweep, mop, dust, the whole house...cleaned the toilets. First thing she says when she comes home was "you didn't clean the microwave".

Last night, I asked if we could snuggle for a bit. ( We don't sleep in the same room, I snore) She didn't answer, later went up to her room and she is watching a internet German Soap Opera in bed. I asked which is more important...soap or snuggle. Soap. Last straw.

Thus this post.

So, this type of stuff has happened through years and am done. I have 20 yrs left (aged 52) and don't want to do this anymore...

She doesn't love me, I want to and do...but can't. 2 way street. Thus the D word.

Really don't want it to get nasty, nor her. I found a on-line D site. You fill out the forms and take it to a judge.

Which is the best one?

I wanna have fun my next 20 yrs( sex 3 times thus far this year) , not be bitched at. Kids are gone, thus that issue is mute.

Thoughts?

Sorry, I need to see Jamal have more carries to see if he can carry the rock full time. NOW it is a football thread.

Thanks

[Mr. Laz]

sorry dude, it will get better

[notorious]

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch

Typical guy advice. You don't really believe a person can divorce with "no regrets" - maybe it's the best decision but there will usually be SOME regret. The grass isn't always greener.

When my friends talk about marital problems I always ask: "What can you do to improve the marriage?" They act like that never occurred to them. We cause our share of problems but I've seen several friends be patient on this and it does work out more than not.

PB is right to an extent. Some people don't put out effort to make things better. It's easier to blame the other and give up.

In my rough times, I step back and kick up the effort and the payout return from my wife is great.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good reasons to get divorced, and not being in love is #1 on the list.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by notorious

PB is right to an extent. Some people don't put out effort to make things better. It's easier to blame the other and give up.

In my rough times, I step back and kick up the effort and the payout return from my wife is great.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good reasons to get divorced, and not being in love is #1 on the list.

I'd put sex once every three months #1.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by Cave Johnson

I'd put sex once every three months #1.

You're both wrong. #1 cause for divorce is marriage.

[Prison Bitch]

Above all, divorce with and without kids is totally different and should be treated as such. That said:

What does "being in love" even mean? Honestly: marriage is a partnership. A financial and legal partnership above all else. Normally to raise productive children. Being "in love" is way down the list no?

There are 4 good reasons to divorce, the 4 "A's": Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, Addictions. Not being in love seems to be flimsy to me.

[Ming the Merciless]

If she had assets before the marriage or brought assets into the marriage through inheritance and they aren't co-mingled... they may not be subject to a 50/50 split.

Likewise if you brought assets into the marriage or inherited assets, and did NOT co mingle them with her...then they could be protected.

Any assets you co mingled or acquired together would be at risk.

I think you need to talk to a lawyer if you have serious assets that are co mingled or acquired together and/ or if her assets in Germany were inherited or brought into the marriage solely by her and not using Co mingled funds...

You may not have as much leverage as you think you do...so discuss this with a lawyer before making assumptions.

[Ming the Merciless]

Also the leverage from her German assets could be meaningless if you can't get a German court to issue a writ of possession or whatever they have over there...and complete a legal process there to get a judgment, writ, and collect on it.

[MTG#10]

You should probably just have her killed at this point. I may know a guy.

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

I'm an attorney, and I do divorces on the side (it's not my main practice area). I can tell you that you may not have to pay as much as you think for decent help. A lot of people just assume it's going to be thousands of dollars, but depending on the specifics of your case you can actually get an uncontested divorce for a reasonable price if you do some digging and call around.

This is not in any way a solicitation, and I'm not in any way suggesting that you hire me, as I know nothing about your case aside from what you posted. I'm just saying check around and you may find a lawyer who can help for just a couple hundred bucks more than what you would pay for forms. *shrug* It's worth spending a couple hours working the phones to see what kind of prices you can get, anyways.

[Marcellus]

Originally Posted by bevischief

Mine paid for the lawyer all had to do was sign. Haven't looked back since. I have said f*** it and started on my bucket list. Happiest I have been in years.

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball

F a midget yet bevis?

I love CP.

[Holladay]

You all are a GREAT help. Bases upon your comments, I will seek an attorney. The german assets and my business will create some problems. I don't mind helping out, just not bent over.

1. Do you and the soon-to-be-ex have any agreement regarding paying for college expenses for the kids?

2. While the kids are 18 and legal adults, have you had any discussion or has there been any though about who they will live with? Any consideration of paying food/housing cost for them?

3. You said you own your own business, I believe. What is your ownership interest worth, and how does that weigh against her German assets. Without question, if your ownership interest is worth alot, and more than her German assets, she may start rethinking this "yours is yours and mine is mine" approach.

You can do a quickie divorce, but you should consult with an attorney. If you have a reasonably good one, I'd be pretty surprised if you come back and say he wasn't worth the money.

Daughter has 1.5 yrs left of college. I don't mind helping a bunch on that. Son is going to Ks Natl Guard then college and the military will pay for most of it. They will out of the house this summer. I think the values are close german vs business.

If she had assets before the marriage or brought assets into the marriage through inheritance and they aren't co-mingled... they may not be subject to a 50/50 split.

Likewise if you brought assets into the marriage or inherited assets, and did NOT co mingle them with her...then they could be protected.

Any assets you co mingled or acquired together would be at risk.

Great point. Her assets is mainly real estate from parents and G-mom. They also have quite a bit in the bank. My business was built with us being married.

In my rough times, I step back and kick up the effort and the payout return from my wife is great.

Boy have I tried. Roses (until she told me not to waste any more money), help around the house a fair amount, ask "what can I do to help" (her response some times is "can't you see for your self"), before she comes home from Germany, I clean the whole house as best as possible (ref. microwave) when does get home, she cleans again...and tells me not to waste my time. Frustrating.


[QUOTE With any luck, she goes back to Germany and you keep the house.][/QUOTE]

This is the end game. At some point in time, soon, she will need to go back to take care of her parents. We are working with her job (virtual travel agent) so she can work over there. I told her when this happens, we will need to divorce. I do not and can not live in Germany unless I sell my business.

She makes OK money (vastly under paid in my view) and has nice health benefits, which I don't. If I pay all the bills, and she is in Germany, she will be fine.

Again, will seek an attorney and thanks again.

[bevischief]

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball

F a midget yet bevis?

Not yet...

[SAUTO]

Separate bedrooms should have told you everything you need to know

[SAUTO]

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch

Above all, divorce with and without kids is totally different and should be treated as such. That said:

What does "being in love" even mean? Honestly: marriage is a partnership. A financial and legal partnership above all else. Normally to raise productive children. Being "in love" is way down the list no?

There are 4 good reasons to divorce, the 4 "A's": Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, Addictions. Not being in love seems to be flimsy to me.

if I wasn't in love with my better half I wouldn't be with her.

I don't need a partnership. It's not a business. But she happens to be my business partner also. We are in the same place over 90% of the time I would say.


If I didn't love her she probably wouldn't be alive, .

Not serious, but maybe lol

[Anyong Bluth]

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

Separate bedrooms should have told you everything you need to know

Not true. Buying into "what should be" based upon other's idea of a relationship or you see on TV is equally bad in poisoning a relationship with expectations and a sense of missing or failure.

Separate bedrooms used to be quite normal. It could be an indicator of problems or simply 2 people who have a sleeping arrangement so they both can get a good night's rest.

He already said he has snoring problems. If the other person is a light sleeper, and most nights is disturbed and woken up, do you think that might not result in them being more cranky if they are woken up night after night?