Science Hypothetical: Get your time travel assignment here. - Page 3

**Rain Man** · 06-12-2017, 10:00 AM

Here's the situation: you show up for work on Monday morning, and as you're drinking your initial cup of coffee or Dr. Pepper, an e-mail arrives from your CEO with one of those red exclamation points on it. You open it up.

In a surprise move, your company is moving all operations to the Central African Republic. You can relocate there at a wage of 50 cents per day, plus the company will cover the cost of your first 100 rounds of self-protection ammo, or you can get laid off. You take the second option.

You start browsing through the job ads and come across this one:

Local community college seeks documenting historian. Must be open to new cultures, foods, and experiences.

You answer the ad and you get an interview immediately once they see your resume line item about proficiency in the Microsoft Office suite. You go to the interview and they ask questions about how much you need coffee and electricity and indoor plumbing. They seem satisfied with your answers.

A few days later, you get the nice e-mail that you’ve been accepted into the Twin Pines Community College Time Travel Project as a documenting historian. As it turns out, one of the dental technician students wired some machinery together oddly and created a time machine, so now Twin Pines is the world leader in time travel.

Your assignment will be to go back into the past, live for a year, and document what you see. You can pick your landing location anywhere on the earth. The only challenge is that the time machine picks a random year and no one can control it. You’ll arrive on January 1st according to the Gregorian calendar and depart on December 31st, but no one will know what year until you arrive. The machine overweights more recent years, so the odds are 50 percent that you’ll be more recent than the year 700 AD, and 80 percent that you’ll be more recent than 1,100 BC, but conceivably you could go all the way back to the earth’s beginning.

If you accept the job I’ll randomly assign you a year, and you’ll have to report back on where you would go and what you would try to document. Assume that you will be equipped with a translation device and that you will not change history if you interact with it. Any people or creatures will merely see you as an oddity and minor annoyance, kind of like Michael Strahan on TV shows.

Who wishes to enter the Twin Pines time machine? Volunteer in the thread and I’ll assign you a year.

Beef Supreme · 06-12-2017, 10:41 AM

A few things.

A. I thought we were supposed to pick our location. Nobody has. Don't you have to pick that before you leave?

B. I might just take the 50 cents a day in the Central African Republic. At least they give you some ammo. The community college has made no such offer, and the chances of the conditions being worse than present day Central African Republic are high.

C. You didn't tell us how much this job pays.

D. **** it. I'm in. The location I picked for no particular reason is New Zealand.

**Bugeater** · 06-12-2017, 10:42 AM

I'd prefer a year where I won't be at risk of getting eaten by a dinosaur please.

Mizzou_8541 · 06-12-2017, 10:43 AM

Good stuff. In!

Hammock Parties · 06-12-2017, 10:44 AM

Here's my 1937 calendar:

January - May: Rita Hayworth. We will attend the 4th Masters and heckle Byron Smith.

May 6: Watch the Hindenberg disaster live. With Rita Hayworth.

July: Charter a flight and learn what really happened to Amelia Earhart.

July - Sep: Check out Nazi Germany.

October: Attend the 1937 World Series and heckle Joe DiMaggio. With Rita Hayworth.

Rest of the year: Attempt to set up threesome with Rita Hayworth and Katharine Hepburn.

**Rausch** · 06-12-2017, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Your assigned year is 71 AD. Lots of good possibilities for study there.

Rome: While the architecture and plumbing are better than I would have imagined this place mostly sucks.

People feel much differently about bowel movements here. In public. Gutters weren't used this way where I grew up.

I paid a guy to meet an oracle. I figured, hey, might as well have a psychedelic experience while I'm here. Don't do that. Oracles look like meth-whores on an Ethiopian diet plan. She also convulsed a lot and made no ****ing sense while telling me that "Your love will torment you. Your mouth will crack from thirst but you will not drink."

I assume she knew I was a Chiefs fan.

On the plus side there is a slave rebellion forming. On the down side people look much different. There isn't a "jacked" guy here. No one I've met yet could even play TE in the NFL. It's impossible to predict how this will end but I suspect a slap-fight...

Eleazar · 06-12-2017, 10:48 AM

Ok, I'm in for some sociological terraforming.

**Rausch** · 06-12-2017, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

That sounds like a good plan. I'm not sure if it would be fun to see what Japan is doing in Manchuria or not.

I've always suspected you had a dark side...

Hammock Parties · 06-12-2017, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch

Rome: While the architecture and plumbing are better than I would have imagined this place mostly sucks.

Bullshit. Go to the coliseum and watch some bloodsport. Buy a sex slave.

patteeu · 06-12-2017, 10:51 AM

I need a new work challenge, so count me in.

underEJ · 06-12-2017, 10:52 AM

Well, I am disappointed by the no changing history part of the deal. But I am always up for a museum and a live one sounds pretty great. A year is a long time especially if I'm in a time that my feet are my only means of changing location, but what the hell, I am very observant. I'd do a good job. Send me in!

patteeu · 06-12-2017, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Cool movie.

**Rausch** · 06-12-2017, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Bullshit. Go to the coliseum and watch some bloodsport.

Rainman did not provide me with much in the way of coinage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Buy a sex slave.

The disease here is indescribable. It makes ****ing a horse look sensible...

**Rain Man** · 06-12-2017, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hydrae

I wondered what we were going to do with our summer this year. Time travel sound very interesting and I would love to participate!

1883 AD. Fun with electricity and Chester A. Arthur. Probably other stuff.

**Rain Man** · 06-12-2017, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence

In.

789 AD for you. You can pretty much pick your topic since I have no idea what was going on in the world in 789 AD.

Hammock Parties · 06-12-2017, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch

Rainman did not provide me with much in the way of coinage.

You have 21st century knowledge at your disposal. Making a few denarii will be easy. Shit, you can probably find a drunk guard and steal his uniform and do whatever you want the whole year.

Quote:

The disease here is indescribable. It makes ****ing a horse look sensible...

I'm assuming that the trip back through time will cure any diseases picked up. Like the transporter.

Also your modern-day immune system will be much stronger compared to the diseases of that time period. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully.

06-12-2017, 10:00 AM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3398491 VARSITY	Hypothetical: Get your time travel assignment here. Here's the situation: you show up for work on Monday morning, and as you're drinking your initial cup of coffee or Dr. Pepper, an e-mail arrives from your CEO with one of those red exclamation points on it. You open it up. In a surprise move, your company is moving all operations to the Central African Republic. You can relocate there at a wage of 50 cents per day, plus the company will cover the cost of your first 100 rounds of self-protection ammo, or you can get laid off. You take the second option. You start browsing through the job ads and come across this one: Local community college seeks documenting historian. Must be open to new cultures, foods, and experiences. You answer the ad and you get an interview immediately once they see your resume line item about proficiency in the Microsoft Office suite. You go to the interview and they ask questions about how much you need coffee and electricity and indoor plumbing. They seem satisfied with your answers. A few days later, you get the nice e-mail that you’ve been accepted into the Twin Pines Community College Time Travel Project as a documenting historian. As it turns out, one of the dental technician students wired some machinery together oddly and created a time machine, so now Twin Pines is the world leader in time travel. Your assignment will be to go back into the past, live for a year, and document what you see. You can pick your landing location anywhere on the earth. The only challenge is that the time machine picks a random year and no one can control it. You’ll arrive on January 1st according to the Gregorian calendar and depart on December 31st, but no one will know what year until you arrive. The machine overweights more recent years, so the odds are 50 percent that you’ll be more recent than the year 700 AD, and 80 percent that you’ll be more recent than 1,100 BC, but conceivably you could go all the way back to the earth’s beginning. If you accept the job I’ll randomly assign you a year, and you’ll have to report back on where you would go and what you would try to document. Assume that you will be equipped with a translation device and that you will not change history if you interact with it. Any people or creatures will merely see you as an oddity and minor annoyance, kind of like Michael Strahan on TV shows. Who wishes to enter the Twin Pines time machine? Volunteer in the thread and I’ll assign you a year.
Posts: 141,214

06-12-2017, 10:41 AM	#31
Beef Supreme MVP Join Date: Oct 2010 Casino cash: $10019560	A few things. A. I thought we were supposed to pick our location. Nobody has. Don't you have to pick that before you leave? B. I might just take the 50 cents a day in the Central African Republic. At least they give you some ammo. The community college has made no such offer, and the chances of the conditions being worse than present day Central African Republic are high. C. You didn't tell us how much this job pays. D. **** it. I'm in. The location I picked for no particular reason is New Zealand.
Posts: 11,000

06-12-2017, 10:42 AM	#32
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6252680	I'd prefer a year where I won't be at risk of getting eaten by a dinosaur please.
Posts: 70,443

06-12-2017, 10:43 AM	#33
Mizzou_8541 Starter Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $2677473	Good stuff. In!
Posts: 527

06-12-2017, 10:44 AM	#34
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4790478	Here's my 1937 calendar: January - May: Rita Hayworth. We will attend the 4th Masters and heckle Byron Smith. May 6: Watch the Hindenberg disaster live. With Rita Hayworth. July: Charter a flight and learn what really happened to Amelia Earhart. July - Sep: Check out Nazi Germany. October: Attend the 1937 World Series and heckle Joe DiMaggio. With Rita Hayworth. Rest of the year: Attempt to set up threesome with Rita Hayworth and Katharine Hepburn.
Posts: 277,530

06-12-2017, 10:48 AM	#36
Eleazar Beyond the Rapids Join Date: May 2003 Location: Langley, VA Casino cash: $-370000	Ok, I'm in for some sociological terraforming.
Posts: 80,659

06-12-2017, 10:51 AM	#39
patteeu The 23rd Pillar Join Date: Sep 2002 Casino cash: $10019237	I need a new work challenge, so count me in. __________________ “Boy, you all want power. God, I hope you never get it.” - Lindsay Graham
Posts: 110,871

06-12-2017, 10:52 AM	#40
underEJ Veteran Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles Casino cash: $6963141	Well, I am disappointed by the no changing history part of the deal. But I am always up for a museum and a live one sounds pretty great. A year is a long time especially if I'm in a time that my feet are my only means of changing location, but what the hell, I am very observant. I'd do a good job. Send me in!
Posts: 1,229