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11-25-2015, 02:00 PM | #16 |
Politically Incorrect
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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POOP THREAD #274
CP'ers sure do love their poop threads.
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"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!" ~Redd Foxx~ "The men who drafted Patrick Mahomes" |
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11-25-2015, 02:07 PM | #17 |
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Olathe, KS
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11-25-2015, 02:07 PM | #18 |
Keep doubting J MFing Houston
Join Date: May 2007
Location: ft.lauderdale
Casino cash: $4428036
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What?
Never seen a grown man taking a shit before? |
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11-25-2015, 02:09 PM | #19 |
Keep doubting J MFing Houston
Join Date: May 2007
Location: ft.lauderdale
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"I'm going to go inside and take a huuuuge Morty"/Rick Sanchez
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11-25-2015, 02:18 PM | #20 |
Don't Tease Me
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: KS
Casino cash: $11047037
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You haven't had a real shit until you've had to drink a gallon of that stuff they give you before a surgery.
fair warning ... don't drink it all like they say!! Drink until you start shitting and then ease back. You will fill your toilet up with 'MUD' so far that it won't flush. Dump flush Dump flush Felt like one of the soft serve ice cream dispensers.
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11-25-2015, 02:41 PM | #21 |
MVP
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Las Vegas
Casino cash: $9925282
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OK, I just had my worst experience about a month ago...
I had been taking these Detoxing pills. They told me I wouldnt have those "emergency moments". HA! Im on my way home from work, and Im in dead traffic and IT hits me. I have nowhere to go, completely stuck. Then we begin to move, and I jam down a side street trying to take a short cut, to no avail. MORE TRAFIC!. Man, I am holding on for dear life, and I thought for sure I was gonna shit my pants. I mean, IM clinching, punching the steerig wheel, begging outloud to hold on..lol...Finally I see a gas station, on my left, on the other side of the street. Easy access? Hardly. I had to cross all the way over in traffic and then manage to get into left hand turn lane, and the WAIT...AND WAIT...AND WAIT for the light to turn green. FINALLY the light turns green and I U Turn and fly into the gas station parking lot, in full prayer mode "PLease God, Hold on"...Thankfully my prayers were heard, and NO one was in the PUBLIC bathroom. I cant stand going in a public bathroom, but sometimes survival is more important than vanity. And survived is what I did without shitting myself, but wow, I came close. It was horrible.
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Women want someone who can make them laugh and protect them. So basically a Clown Ninja. |
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11-25-2015, 02:46 PM | #22 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Fayetteville, AR
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Similar to the OP. I was on Crete back in 1996 hiking and camping. Came to a resort town called Paleochora and couldn't wait to find a shitter. Finally find one and its a squat above hole in the ground that was absolutely covered in filth. I balked. Things got more and more dire. I finally waddled out onto the beach and went back among the dunes. I dug like a foot deep hole in the sand and proceeded to pretty much fill it to the brim with two days worth of gyros back up.
Feeling immensely relieved, I tore some pages from my journal and wiped up. I stood up and turned around to face away from the ocean and pull up my pants and noticed an entire tour bus group at an overlook, looking down at my site of shame.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. - H. L. Mencken |
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11-25-2015, 02:46 PM | #23 |
The Boom Boom Room
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Far Beyond Comprehension
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During a 4 hour fraternity trip, I had Montezuma's Revenge so bad that when I finally got to a toilet it looked like I killed a squirrel in the mother****er.
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11-25-2015, 02:46 PM | #24 |
Fish are scared of me
Join Date: Nov 2001
Casino cash: $210477
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They say if you gotta go really bad think about sex and it will go away. It works when you gotta piss but I've never tried it in full shit mode.
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11-25-2015, 03:10 PM | #25 |
Going home eventually
Join Date: Dec 2002
Casino cash: $3622858
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This is the play when Kelce dropped the ball. It made me shit bad.
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If you're not first you're last! |
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11-25-2015, 08:52 PM | #26 | |
Cast Iron Jedi
Join Date: Nov 2004
Casino cash: $9999900
VARSITY
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Quote:
My wife had to do this. They told her to drink until she pooped. It took a while, and she drank most of it before it hit her. It was taking long enough we'd called the doctor. Considering it wasn't me, it was pretty funny. |
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11-25-2015, 08:59 PM | #27 |
Reset
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Parts Unknown
Casino cash: $8046765
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My worst was on a flight to Vegas about 15 years ago. My intestines always decompress on planes, so I always fart a lot when we get up to altitude. But this time I couldn't fart because I had this big cannon ball of shit in the way. So after massive stomach cramps I go to bathroom and blow the cannon ball out. The ball was larger than the circumference of the hole in the shitter. And since there's no water just suction there was a ring of fecal matter around the hole. Knowing my luck some hot looking chick would be waiting for the shitter lol luckily for me there was nobody in line (thank god)
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11-25-2015, 09:01 PM | #28 | |
Reset
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Parts Unknown
Casino cash: $8046765
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Quote:
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11-25-2015, 09:09 PM | #29 |
My work speaks for itself!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: So Cal
Casino cash: $465200
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i was in cancun....after a night of delicious tacos with amazing habanero.....
I'm on hole 4 of the golf course, and it hits me like Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber.. Tell my guys, you're gonna have to waste some time.....as I hop on the cart, and head back to the clubhouse. I was sweating, freaking out....all the while driving backwards through the course, dodging golf balls from players on holes behind us. Get to the clubhouse just in time, and it's Johnny Cash's "ring of fire" for a good 15 minutes.
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Its easier to fool a man, than to convince a man he's been fooled. |
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11-25-2015, 09:16 PM | #30 |
Supporter
Join Date: Aug 2000
Casino cash: $8318275
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In terms of urgency, I've noticed a correlation between steak and urgent squats 1/2 hour later. Usually the better the steak, the more urgent. Or maybe it's just memorable because we'll often 'walk off' a good meal in a shop or mall, so I have to beat feet to an unfamiliar restroom.
Nothing else stressful about it. Medium soft. Clean breaker. But it's like there's an enzyme in beef that gets the tract moving. Kind of like morning coffee.
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We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W. |
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