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Old 03-12-2013, 09:35 PM  
MOhillbilly MOhillbilly is offline
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Irish jokes

I have none. The meaner the better.
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:57 PM   #16
Tits McGee Tits McGee is offline
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Where does an Irish man take his family on vacation?
To another bar....

What does an Irish man consider for a seven course meal?
A six pack and a potato...
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:57 PM   #17
AustinChief AustinChief is offline
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Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:59 PM   #18
Lzen Lzen is offline
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:00 PM   #19
AustinChief AustinChief is offline
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And for the kids out there.. a clean one..

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

Because its capital is always Dublin.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:02 PM   #20
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:03 PM   #21
OrtonsPiercedTaint OrtonsPiercedTaint is offline
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:06 PM   #22
ClevelandBronco ClevelandBronco is offline
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From "Foreigners Around the World" by P.J. O'Rourke during his 1970s National Lampoon days:

IRISH

Racial Characteristics:
Pie-faced, neckless, bandy-legged sots who almost never ****. Ignorant and superstitious, they are in utter thrall to the vile, conniving priests of their dark and barbarous religion. Their women have their legs on upside down and no man in the country eats anything but potatoes, and only eats them when is out of strong drink. The principal delights of the Irish are in quarreling and fighting and killing each other with bombs. They can be trained to do nothing useful that a dray horse can't accomplish in half the time, and they spew out a continuous stream of mumbles and grunts which they fancy to be "poems." They sell their children for whiskey.

Good Points:
Many Irish are dead.

Proper Forms of Address:
Bogmouth, peat-face, Mr. Potato Head, nun-buns, dumb Mick.

An Anecdote Illustrating Something of the Irish Character:
There once was an Irishman who got so drunk while he was in Rome that he kissed his wife and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel.
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Old 03-12-2013, 11:36 PM   #23
Frankie Frankie is offline
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Old 03-12-2013, 11:38 PM   #24
Frankie Frankie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankie View Post
irishjokes.com
DAMN YOU KEG!!!!! (Wee bit anyway)
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Old 04-04-2013, 12:20 PM   #25
frankotank frankotank is offline
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well hells bells, I'm way late....but I was looking for the clean jokes thread and stumbled across this. I can't BELIEVE this one isn't in here...

An English man, a Scottish man and an Irish man all order a Guiness.
there is a fly in each one.
the English man pushes the beer away and orders another.
the Scottish man plucks the fly out of his beer and takes a drink.
the Irish man grabs the fly, starts pounding on it's back yelling.....
spit it out ya sonofabitch, SPIT IT OUT!
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Old 04-04-2013, 12:56 PM   #26
AdumbGuy AdumbGuy is offline
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Irish buddy showed us a drinking game a few years back.

Pick a card out of a deck. Whatever you pull, drink that many beers. Repeat.
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Old 04-04-2013, 01:02 PM   #27
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by listopencil View Post
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.
Too soon.
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Old 04-04-2013, 01:24 PM   #28
Gadzooks Gadzooks is offline
is neato
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by listopencil View Post
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.
I told this one at the family dinner table for Easter. My Dad was the only one who laughed, (he's from England), the rest thought it was vile or didn't get it.

My Dad =
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Old 04-04-2013, 02:08 PM   #29
Frankie Frankie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AustinChief View Post
This joke was told to me by an Irishman...

A small, white duck goes into a bar, jumps on the barstool, orders a shot of booze and says to the bartender 'listen, I'm a bricklayer on the construction site nearby. The works will last for some time and I'll be coming here every day around lunchtime for a shot of booze, so think about some discount or something'. The duck drinks the shot, jumps off the stool and goes out. The bartender is shocked, he's never seen a talking duck before, so he calls his friend who owns a circus: 'listen, there's a talking duck coming to my bar, come tomorrow around lunchtime and see for yourself'. So the next day the circus owner waits in the bar and the duck goes in, jumps on the barstool and orders a shot of booze. The circus manager overcomes his awe and says: 'Hello sir, I'm a circus owner and I want to offer you a job. I can give you whatever money you want, plus a company car, a cell phone, best hotels, best women, whatever you want'. The duck considers his offer for a moment and says,

"AFLAC!"
FYP.







OK your joke was amusing.
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Old 04-04-2013, 02:11 PM   #30
Frankie Frankie is offline
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Here's a good Irish joke:

Manti T'eo
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