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Old 02-12-2013, 03:02 PM  
Cave Johnson Cave Johnson is offline
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Pussy Control Issues

After a good long dating career, I may have had my last piece of strange. Met a girl at a SB party who's a solid 8.5 (minimum), younger, fun, educated, good job, same values, etc. She's on a 6 month lease, which creates some implications for moving in down the road.

The problem is her cat, pictured below. It was an ill advised gift from an ex (who I'd now like to kick in the balls). Apparently he's destructive, neurotic, eats uncontrollably, and emphatically does not like my dog. This is not my dog's fault, who's pretty mellow and enjoys licking/humping cats. She's attached to it and feels guilty for leaving said cat alone. Which is the natural and empathetic reaction of a well-adjusted person, but it cuts into certain activities and is generally problematic.

So, any advice you can give on dog/cat acclimation or dealing with a psycho cat in general (other than antifreeze) would be very much appreciated.

Last edited by Cave Johnson; 02-13-2013 at 11:39 AM..
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:25 PM   #61
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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take it and throw it on said ex boyfriends porch..
That is the final step of a process that begins with gettin a burlap sack.
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:25 PM   #62
Dartgod Dartgod is offline
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If you keep the cat, this might come in handy.

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Old 02-12-2013, 05:31 PM   #63
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Well maybe it's time to teach the kitty who's boss. One day just shave it and tell her you always prefer your kitties well groomed.

Then again you could try the pharmaceutical approach. Find out whatever food the cat loves and slip some weed(or maybe some xanax) in it a hour before 'activities'. Cat gets mello and you get your groove on. Just make sure you don't mix up the weed butter with some LSD...that can cause issues....
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Old 02-12-2013, 07:18 PM   #64
big nasty kcnut big nasty kcnut is offline
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give it away on craigslist then when she ask where the cat is you tell her she ran away and you couldn't find her.
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Old 02-12-2013, 07:21 PM   #65
DaKCMan AP DaKCMan AP is offline
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Originally Posted by Cave Johnson View Post
I know an 8.5 sounds impossible, but for those of us that aren't self-aggrandizing engineers, it's quite possible.
I get it.. she's an 8.5 on teh interwebz
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Old 02-12-2013, 07:23 PM   #66
Brock Brock is offline
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Old 02-12-2013, 07:53 PM   #67
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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Met two weeks ago - making plans to move in.
Wait until the post in two more weeks when he finds out she's a post-op transsexual.
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Old 02-12-2013, 07:55 PM   #68
CHENZ A! CHENZ A! is offline
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Met two weeks ago - making plans to move in.
For real.
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Old 02-12-2013, 08:10 PM   #69
HonestChieffan HonestChieffan is online now
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Take the cat. Send 8.5 down the road. She has made a cat crazy. Think about it....
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Old 02-12-2013, 08:27 PM   #70
KChiefs1 KChiefs1 is offline
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Met her at this years SB party? Aren't you rushing things a bit?
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Old 02-12-2013, 08:36 PM   #71
Dr. Pepper Dr. Pepper is offline
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God damn guys. How many times do I have to give out this amazing advice?!



+



=

That's ****ing gross.
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Old 02-12-2013, 08:43 PM   #72
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Worse comes to worst you could always try this approach. But you'd probably have to season it well to hide the gaminess.

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Old 02-12-2013, 08:44 PM   #73
OrtonsPiercedTaint OrtonsPiercedTaint is offline
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Old 02-12-2013, 09:02 PM   #74
Pablo Pablo is offline
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LAWL
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Old 02-12-2013, 09:11 PM   #75
TribalElder TribalElder is offline
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LOL

What happens when the cat ends up your cat in a year and 6 months.

Regardless cats ****ing stink like shit

I highly recommend city kitty unless you like amonia piss smell
http://www.citikitty.com/

or fake a doctors visit and a cat alergy right before she is supposed to move in and have a adoptive home on standby. CHECK CHECK FELINE REROUTE HUT HUT HUT
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I dunno. That's a looooot of AIDS to overcome

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