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Old 07-21-2012, 03:57 AM  
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is online now
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Alex's Losses; 12-26-2012 at 09:03 AM..
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:03 PM   #121
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coogs View Post
In OT, when it appeared the Chiefs were going to lose, Big Ben was injured and Charlie Batch took over at QB with the Steelers right on the brink of FG range.
Ah, I forgot about this.

Does this really count as a win over an elite QB, then?
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:10 PM   #122
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Watching Cassel struggle when he has forever to throw the ball in the pocket is going to piss me off so bad this year.
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Old 07-22-2012, 12:09 AM   #123
BillSelfsTrophycase BillSelfsTrophycase is offline
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Originally Posted by Toad King View Post
EVEN NOW Matt Cassel seeks to spread his discord and false hope among our fanbase. We must never relent. We will fight him on the internet, we will fight him at the Royals game, we will fight him at Arrowhead.

Win Throwing Lessons from Kansas City Chief, Matt Cassel!!


http://www.fryorthodontics.com/matt-cassel/
Not just anybody can hit a crossbar or throw an interception on a screen pass
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Old 07-22-2012, 12:14 AM   #124
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Originally Posted by BillSelfsTrophycase View Post
Not just anybody can hit a crossbar or throw an interception on a screen pass
Or have a flea flicker get batted down at the line of scrimmage.
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Old 07-22-2012, 12:22 AM   #125
BillSelfsTrophycase BillSelfsTrophycase is offline
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Originally Posted by Baby Lee View Post
Or have a flea flicker get batted down at the line of scrimmage.
Forgot all about that one

Not sure if I should laugh or cry
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Old 07-22-2012, 01:24 AM   #126
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Old 07-22-2012, 01:36 AM   #127
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Old 07-22-2012, 01:47 AM   #128
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Old 07-22-2012, 02:34 AM   #129
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This thread is nothing but a bunch of haters and to that I say

CASSEL CASSEL CASSEL CASSEL CASSEL


On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our franchise.

We remain a young franchise, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

(APPLAUSE)

In reaffirming the greatness of our franchise, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less.
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Old 07-22-2012, 09:40 AM   #130
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Another interesting fact from Cassel's Pro Bowl 2010 season was the rushing stats from the 10 games that were won. In order, here are the 10 games...

26 carries... 135 yards
39 carries... 140 yards
39 carries... 207 yards
42 carries... 236 yards
45 carries... 274 yards
29 carries... 159 yards
48 carries... 270 yards
39 carries... 185 yards
42 carries... 210 yards
40 carries... 152 yards

Totals:

389 carries... 1968 yards

or

39 carries... 197 yards per game average.



Tim Tebow posted 8 wins during his famous 2011 season in Denver that featured nothing but running the ball. The rushing stats for Denver for those 8 games:

40 carries... 177 yards
39 carries... 299 yards
55 carries... 244 yards
34 carries... 125 yards
51 carries... 208 yards
32 carries... 150 yards
34 carries... 124 yards
34 carries... 131 yards

Totals:

319 carries... 1458 yards

or

40 carries... 182 yards per game average.
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:12 AM   #131
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Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini View Post
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our franchise.

We remain a young franchise, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our franchise, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less.
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:38 AM   #132
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Another interesting fact from Cassel's Pro Bowl 2010 season was the rushing stats from the 10 games that were won. In order, here are the 10 games...
What's sad is that we almost lost one of those games, against Buffalo, because Cassel was so god damn awful, and basically was not responsible for a single third-down conversion the entire game.

He was 14 of 26 for 152 yards. Bowe had 3 catches for 16 yards.

We had 274 yards rushing, 0 turnovers, and held Buffalo to 3.9 yards per play.

And we won by 3 after 10 minutes of overtime, including a missed game winner by the Bills.
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:55 AM   #133
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IMPORTANT FACT #6018:

71.4% percent of Cassel's 28 career wins have come against these shitty QBs.

Brodie Croyle
JT O'Sullivan
Marc Bulger
Trent Edwards x2
Seneca Wallace x2
JaMarcus Russell x2
Jason Campbell
Kyle Orton x2
Todd Bouman
Ryan Fitzpatrick
Derek Anderson
Sam Bradford
Kerry Collins
Donovan McNabb's Corpse
Curtis Painter
Kyle Boller

He has lost to the following QB from this list: Russell, Orton x2, Fitzpatrick x2, Campbell x2
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:57 AM   #134
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Nice to see you come around on Fitzpatrick
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Old 07-22-2012, 12:13 PM   #135
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He lost to Fitzpatrick when Fitzpatrick threw for 86 yards.

And the Chiefs ran for 152 yards in that game.

I bet you can guess which game this is.
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