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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Zarth; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 07-21-2012, 02:22 PM   #76
SNR SNR is offline
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Next question:

How do we make sure this post finds its way into the hands of Pioli and/or Crennel?

If they're going to foolishly invest blind loyalty into this turd of a QB, I want that decision to haunt them at night.
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 07-21-2012, 02:38 PM   #77
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Old 07-21-2012, 02:41 PM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNR View Post
Next question:

How do we make sure this post finds its way into the hands of Pioli and/or Crennel?

If they're going to foolishly invest blind loyalty into this turd of a QB, I want that decision to haunt them at night.
Bilboard it baby. Always gets attn when some $ is spent.
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:24 PM   #79
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This QB is ****in dogshit
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:25 PM   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNR View Post
Next question:

How do we make sure this post finds its way into the hands of Pioli and/or Crennel?

If they're going to foolishly invest blind loyalty into this turd of a QB, I want that decision to haunt them at night.
Can someone print off flyers and hand them out at training camp?

Even better, can someone do that and then get Matt Cassel to sign it?
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:27 PM   #81
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:30 PM   #82
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Logical is burning the 2010 AFC West Championship flag.

Your argument is invalid.
I missed that part. Awesome. Some other good details in there. All it needs is that fisthead tattoo guy hiding somewhere discreetly.
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:30 PM   #83
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannyasi View Post
Everyone here at CP knows how much Cassel sucks, but that doesn't mean it is not important to remind ourselves of exactly how much Cassel sucks.
More importantly...

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Old 07-21-2012, 03:31 PM   #84
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Originally Posted by DeezNutz View Post
OP is the most comprehensive "Cassel sucks" post in the history of CP.

Pioli, pwned.
Thank you, Samuel Adams.
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:49 PM   #85
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This is the greatest thread in the history of internet message boards.
Goatsee really had to make another mult to post this?
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:55 PM   #86
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You really should delete the Hamas quote. Sanchez is so bad the Jets acquired Tim Tebow. It takes credibility away.
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:01 PM   #87
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Goatsee really had to make another mult to post this?
Nein. Doth thou not perceive what hath transpired here? Verily, after their long suffering beneath the cruel yoke of despotic reign, Chiefs fans are drawn hence to this thread, this forum, this haven of knowledge, like moths to flame.

Forsooth, let us set a fire in his flesh!

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Old 07-21-2012, 04:19 PM   #88
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This is the greatest thread in the history of internet message boards.
While I appreciate your exuberance, it's not.

But this is: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=182271
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:28 PM   #89
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Originally Posted by Brainiac View Post
You really should delete the Hamas quote. Sanchez is so bad the Jets acquired Tim Tebow. It takes credibility away.
Sanchez has won more playoff games than the chiefs have the last 30+ years.
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:40 PM   #90
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Originally Posted by Brainiac View Post
You really should delete the Hamas quote. Sanchez is so bad the Jets acquired Tim Tebow. It takes credibility away.
Mark Sanchez against winning teams*

2009: 6-4
2010: 4-5
2011: 0-4

*includes 4 playoff wins.

TOTAL: 10-13 (.434)

Cassel in KC: 2-8 (.200) (includes 68-yard explosion against 2010 Chargers)
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