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Old 01-26-2009, 12:59 PM  
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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UHHHH. Ok

So, I work on the 2nd floor of an office complex in Wichita. The 2nd floor has business's like insurance, investment, energy, etc. The 3rd floor is primarily for hair salons, massage therapy, photography, and the like.

Right above my office, there is a hair salon that I go to out of sheer convenience. Earlier today, I hear music blaring above me - fkg rap - and I can't figure wtf is going on. I let it play out for about 10 minutes and then it just starts to fkn annoy me. I'm trying to have a phone conversation and I'm hearing Lil Whayne in the background

Anyhoo, I walk up to the 3rd floor salon, and there are no lights on. Initially, I thought maybe they might have some construction workers doing something for them, since they are closed on Monday's - but, where's the lights?. I knock on the door - no answer. I then proceed to walk in and turn the corner to the salon area. And then, I see it. There is a woman, buck naked, blowing a guy in a barber chair. The dude makes eye contact with me.

ChiTown "Uhh, sorry bout that".

Dude: "Uuh, Uuh, babe" (and points at me)

Chick (turning around to see what it is): "F*&^!" (and makes some guttural shrieking noise, while trying to cover herself up)

That's the some total of that conversation. Ok, here's where it get's weird.

A. Fkg lock the gdamn door next time you dumbfug's

B. Chick = Owner of the Salon

C. Dude does not equal her husband, whom I have met before

D. Chick = Gal who cuts my hair

E. I have an appointment with her to cut my hair on Friday

Before you ask, yes, she has a very nice ass, and a decent set of knockers. I have totally blocked out any image of the man's penis. I need a drink.........
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ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.ChiTown has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:37 PM   #76
redhed redhed is offline
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That is fuggin' awesome!
You should def offer her a tic-tac on Fri. And you should tell her in addition to your usual haircut, your pubes need a trim as well.
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:56 PM   #77
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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....and people still doubt that stylists are only a small step up from strippers.
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:07 PM   #78
bevis369 bevis369 is offline
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bevis369 is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.bevis369 is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:36 PM   #79
Archie F. Swin Archie F. Swin is offline
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so....by Friday you'll be gettin yourself a Lil' Wayne CD, eh?

Your opening line should be "So, How's (enter husband's name here) been lately?
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:42 PM   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gonzo View Post
No doubt, I would just go there with a big ass smile on my face, after getting the haircut - shampoo etc, load up on hair styling product. When she gives you a bill, smile and say "Yeah...I don't think so."
Ah, blackmailing is such a beautiful thing....
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:47 PM   #81
el borracho el borracho is offline
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Well... everyone else's responses are more humorous but in reality I would suggest you boycott her salon out of moral principle. Nothing funny about someone's wife with a mouthfull of infidelity.
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el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.el borracho would the whole thing.
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:48 PM   #82
88TG88 88TG88 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coach View Post
Ah, blackmailing is such a beautiful thing....
He's married and I think he loves his wife so getting tang is out. The only other CP approved solution is to get himself some free cuts and make her feel awkward.
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:54 PM   #83
Coach Coach is offline
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Originally Posted by 88TG88 View Post
He's married and I think he loves his wife so getting tang is out. The only other CP approved solution is to get himself some free cuts and make her feel awkward.
Wasn't referring to as getting tang. Was referring to getting some free haircuts for life.
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:09 PM   #84
Extra Point Extra Point is offline
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Do you think you'll change the way you tip her?
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:13 PM   #85
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Extra Point View Post
Do you think you'll change the way you tip her?
Maybe he could bring in a cup of plain yogurt as a tip?
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:17 PM   #86
boogblaster boogblaster is offline
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You're talkin shit on me sister biotch ... she needs the extra money .. she has a habit ....
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:53 PM   #87
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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VARSITY
In retrospect, you should've suspected something when they started putting out celery and pineapple snacks for the customers.
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Old 01-29-2009, 09:28 PM   #88
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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I'm going to be out most of tomorrow, but I'm very anxious to know how this story ends.
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Old 01-29-2009, 09:30 PM   #89
Bowser Bowser is offline
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I'm going to be out most of tomorrow, but I'm very anxious to know how this story ends.
It better end with Chi gettting at least a free haircut....
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Old 01-29-2009, 09:32 PM   #90
Count Zarth Count Zarth is online now
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So it does happen...
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