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11-25-2015, 09:55 AM | Topic Starter |
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What's the WORST that you've had to shit?
We need a good shit thread around here.
I've just had my personal worst. I'm currently in Romania and I can speak very little Romanian... none of the places that I went into would let me use their toilet... I had to do the turd-turtle walk of shame for about 1.5 miles back to the hotel, with super clenched muscles, while praying to the poop God. I barely made it back to my hotel room... and I shat a good 2 pounds worth. I almost didn't make it multiple times. I had to do some lamase breathing to keep the beast within the confines of my colon. And so this was a memorable life moment, one too shitty to post on Facebook, however perfect for CP. What's the worst you had to shit? And did you make it to the toilet or nah? |
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11-25-2015, 09:56 AM | #2 |
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since having my gal bladder removed a few months ago, pretty much about 8 minutes after I eat anything, I need to shit NOW.
so, I've got that going for me.
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11-25-2015, 10:01 AM | #3 |
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11-25-2015, 10:04 AM | #4 | |
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Quote:
sometimes if I even 'think' or crave certain foods, I have to shit. but it sucks when I'm out with friends or family. I basically need a bathroom within sprinting distance anytime I eat now. so that sort of sucks.
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11-26-2015, 07:40 AM | #5 |
Snacks Are Under My Apron
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Feel lucky if you get a solid shit ever. It's like a lottery win.
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11-26-2015, 02:33 PM | #6 |
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Yeah, solid shits are a thing of the past.
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11-26-2015, 03:36 PM | #7 |
Don't Tease Me
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Weird, I had by gall bladder removed and i'm the exact opposite.
No longer store bile to break stuff down. I shit rocks. Unless i take some edible THC(Weed) then it's soft serve ice cream time. my body is so ****ed up.
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11-26-2015, 12:37 PM | #8 | |
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Quote:
It gets better over time....you can actually know when and what to eat and how to eat at carefully chosen places and knowing where the closest DECENT bathrooms are. Someday I am going to have to break a promise to a friend I made never to tell his worst story of this. BTW....the best thing to have on your phone if you are traveling the interstate is the Cracker Barrel app... My wife and I call it the "CR-app" |
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11-25-2015, 10:00 AM | #9 |
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Usually any time I eat Mexican, Italian, and Chili it's the worst shit ever.
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11-25-2015, 10:13 AM | #10 |
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I got some type of food poisoning at a resort in Mexico. The resort was set up where the rooms were separated from the restaurants by this long winding sidewalk through the jungle, lit up all romantical with torches. We were having dinner and without any warning it hit me. I got up from the table, left my wife sitting there, looked frantically for a bathroom, couldn't find one, so I duck walked as fast as I could down this winding path, weaving in and out of strolling couples holding hands til I got back to the room. My wife showed up 20 minutes later and I was completely naked, in a cold sweat, still sitting on the shitter like The Thinker.
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11-25-2015, 10:02 AM | #11 |
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I made some Alfredo last week and it looked like I shit out a gangbang from the night before.
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11-25-2015, 10:10 AM | #12 |
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The worst for me was when I had to take a shit while waiting for my flight in John Wayne Airport.
All of the toilets had a line of people waiting to use them. I felt like I was going to shit myself while waiting in line. Finally got into the stall. The toilet seat didn't appear to have any shit on it so I dropped trousers, spun around and plopped down on the toilet. That's when I noticed how HOT and sweaty the toilet seat was. Didn't enjoy that bowel movement at all. Didn't help knowing that there was a line of people right behind me waiting to use the same toilet.... felt rushed. |
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11-25-2015, 10:24 AM | #13 |
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Oh man...definitely during my family's last trip to Thailand to see my wife's family. It was about day 4 of eating the local food...which is awesome, but can mess with your insides. We had rented a van to go to the mountain region in the north. I started feeling the urge pretty soon after we started the trip, and it became urgent quickly. I discreetly told my wife I needed to stop at a bathroom, but as it turned out, the nearest was about 1/2 hour down the road. I was prairie-dogging the entire way. We finally get to the "rest stop" and, let me tell you, Thai rest stops are not like American rest stops on the interstates. The toilets were "squatty potties". So I squatted and exploded....all over. The locals probably thought John Rambo was in the area again with his M60. Then, to "flush", you pour a bucket of water in and hope it goes down. It didn't. I cleaned up as best I could...used a bunch of Clorox wipes and a gallon of sanitizer...and hopped back in the van. It was my worst restroom experience.
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11-25-2015, 10:38 AM | #14 |
Fish are scared of me
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If I've eatin some Jalapenos with supper then the next morning I drink coffee it hits hard. Can't hardly get from the kitchen to the bathroom without crapping my pants.
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11-25-2015, 10:55 AM | #15 |
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When I had amoebic dysentery from eating haji food in Iraq. Hot magma out of my anus for three days, and yes- I did shit my pants on a mission because of it. Soon after I was in the aid station delirious with IV's jabbed into my cramping arms.
That straight sucked. |
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