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Any chance you can hire a very old decrepit man with a walker to act like he is trying to mow the yard when the prospective holy man comes to town. You could even have him stage having a stoke.
Or
Perhaps you could make your yard very tidy but plant some flowers in some sort of satanic design right in the middle.
Oh the possibilities.
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Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
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