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Old 02-25-2013, 07:46 PM  
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Springpatch
Casino cash: $4663447
My official endorsement for the 1st overall pick.

I figured I might as well follow through with this formality. I've done this as a mini-tradition going back to 2011, when I endorsed Justin Houston for our first rounder. Last year, I endorsed Trent Richardson very early in the process, and when it became obvious he was going to go in the Top 5, I modified that to Whitney Mercilus.

This year, I am going to at least put my thoughts down on virtual paper here. I know I'm screaming against a wall. I know there's no chance this happens. But in case we suffer a nuclear winter in the coming decade, I'd like the alien civilization that studies our charred remains to know I was on the record.

Before I go any farther, I would like to say one thing:

I hate the Kansas City Chiefs.

I hate them. I hate them for killing my spirit in 2012. I hate them for being a part of an industry that has knowingly and wantonly ruined the physical and mental capacities of the people that make their success possible.

But I hate them now, more than ever, for getting me really, really ****ing pumped for this upcoming offseason, with the importing of HC Andy Reid and GM John Dorsey, and the 1st overall pick. I hate them for that because you can only get hurt when you care, and this front office is on the verge of wounding me deeply by trading multiple picks to the San Francisco 49ers for Alex Smith, a backup QB that we will no doubt grant a friendly contract extension and unquestionably play him as The Man for the next several years.

Now, this hasn't happened yet. But this is what must be the most likely scenario, and the one that absolutely wrecks my spirit for what this team accomplishes over the next several years.

The Chiefs just got done enduring what is probably the most difficult year or two of its organizational existence. We're not talking about the 80s here, when there was no chance at much victory and hopes were meager if they were there at all. We're not talking about the days of Herm Edwards who, while he was terrible, did perform the decade-overdue act of initiating a total rebuild and blessed our team with a ton of young talent while playing Tyler ****ing Thigpen.

No, the past couple years are different because we had legitimate promise. We boasted an offensive line that was competent and, in a couple places, the offense's strength. We had a rotation of effective if brittle tight ends. We had an actual receiver corps that featured two first-round picks with amazing measurables and a couple slot receivers with quickness to burn. We had one of the league's best run games and a couple of its best offensive players. We had a defensive line stout with 1st round draft picks and passrushers all over our linebacking corps.

Our defense was finally adjusted and consistently coached year in and year out. Our secondary was littered with great talent to the extent that not even Kendrick Lewis could screw things up. And we finally featured two kicking specialists who have us breathing easy on special teams, or at least as easy as breathing can be during those critical plays.

Where it all went wrong, as we all know, was on a ****ing backup QB that our front office became irrationally enamored with and had no interest in ever challenging, even as he shit his pants game after game after game.

That's the cruelest part of all of this. The previous front office surfed in on such a tide of goodwill and an ass-nasty 2-14 season under Herm. But we were nonetheless loaded with young talent. We only needed a few more pieces here or there -- and of course, the ever elusive QB.

An opportunity they squandered immediately, by drafting one QB in four years. Instead they invested the entire franchise on Matt Cassel, making one of their first personnel moves the indefensible act of trading away an insanely high 2nd round pick so they could enjoy Cassel "grading out perfectly" as he threw passes into his receivers feet, sailed balls out of bounds, panicked in the face of pressure in ways that would leave Damon Huard bewildered, and light a fire under approximately zero teammates.

Four years later, here we are. Wasted years that have seen at least one great talent depart in Brandon Carr, and probably another here very soon in Branden Albert. (I'm dejected about losing Glenn Dorsey too, but less so since I'm thrilled about our scheme shift that wouldn't have played to his strengths.)

We've suffered a 2-14 season in a year in which people projected us outpacing Peyton Manning's Broncos and winning our first playoff game since Joe Montana. The tide of goodwill turned into a whirlpool of despair and thankfully sucked the clueless ass pirates that ran this team into the dirt along with it.

Attendance shrank. Enthusiasm waned. Fans were paying money to fly banners over the team. People were cheering Cassel when he got injured. The best fanbase in the NFL became so dejected and directionless we turned more into a red-clad mob, lead not by the superior appreciation of football that drove this city's dialogue for a decade-plus, but instead mired in indifference and sheer restlessness. Once a fanbase of superego, we now embody the unmoored id.

And ticket prices keep going up.

SO IF IT SEEMS LIKE I'M LOSING MY SHIT, IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE ON THE VERGE OF DOING THIS ALL OVER AGAIN:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
The 2008 season = 2-14, ushered in the ***** regime.

The 2012 season = 2-14, ushered in the Reid regime.

3rd overall pick in 2009, with a great QB prospect on board (Sanchez), no QB on the roster.

1st overall pick in 2013, with a great QB prospect on board (Smith), no QB on the roster.

Chiefs trade a high 2nd in 2009 for somebody else's backup (Matt Cassel).

Chiefs trade a high 3rd in 2013 for somebody else's backup (Alex Smith).

Matt Cassel's career stats as of today: 58% completion, 6.6 yards/pass, 173 yards/game, 82 TD to 57 INT, 160 sacks, and 24 40+ yard plays.

Alex Smith's career stats as of today: 59% completion, 6.6 yards/pass, 178 yards/game, 81 TD to 63 INT, 196 sacks, and 33 40+ yard plays.

Chiefs use the 3rd overall in 2009 on a non-impact trench player (Tyson Jackson).

Chiefs use the 1st overall in 2013 on a non-impact trench player (Luke Joeckel).

I HATE THIS GODDAMN TEAM.

SERIOUSLY.

**** THIS GODDAMN TEAM.
I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. I feel like I woke up from a bad dream of the past four years only to hit the alarm and listen to two fruity morning deejays wax philosophical on why Andy Reid's infallible wisdom in Alex Smith is worth deferring to. As if I'm supposed to act like the past four years didn't happen PRECISELY BECAUSE OF A MOVE LIKE THIS ONE.

The whole idea of following a professional sports team is to enjoy myself and build a rapport with this area of the universe I call my home. 90% of my friends and family live in the Midwest, and the Chiefs are our team, whether some of us give a shit about the team or not. Our allegiance to the team is rooted in the fact that it is in a small way a reflection of us, knowing that this is how the rest of the world sees us, and how we see ourselves. That's why you almost always end up rooting for the pro team closest to where you live.

Kansas City is flyover country. Most of the action in this country occurs on the coasts. That's where the bulk of the commerce is, that's where the bulk of the national decisions get made. That's where most of our entertainment comes from. That's where most of our best technology resides. Kansas City is really just a really cool city in the middle of a huge ****ing desert plain with only our culture to provide a proverbial speed bump to passers by. The Chiefs are one of the biggest contributors to that bump.

I'm just rambling right now but I've always really loved this team, and I've always really loved this franchise. I've been following largely since Schottenheimer and those crazy afternoons on the couch as Deberg and Trent Green tried to overcome the odds. And of course that one year where Montana made magic happen. I know a lot of good dudes that love the team and provide me with an immediate in for conversation, even among strangers, because that stranger will be wearing a Chiefs hat sometimes. I'm also a member of a family that has a deep tradition of women who know the positions, from teenagers to freaking 60 year old women. That is awesome. And I know if it wasn't the Chiefs, it'd be some other team. But it's the Chiefs, and that's where I am.

After my devotion to the Chiefs flatlined during this atrocious season, I almost left my fandom of the sport behind entirely. But I can't help it, it's too much a part of my DNA as a human being. I love it, and I started feeling pangs as I watched wide receivers sprint 40s at the Combine, and offensive lineman huffed and puffed their way through agility drills.

The icing on the cake of this past week was Geno Smith throwing, of course, right in front of a wide receivers coach with "CHIEFS" written all over his clothes, effusively praising Smith every time he threw the ball. Every time.

That enthusiasm lasted about two hours until the Alex Smith rumblings started making their way.

Another backup QB. Which we'll start for multiple years. While passing over some of the primo talent in this draft. In order to draft a tackle.

I just can't stand it.

I absolutely hate this team.

Anyway. Geno Smith. That's my endorsement. He's a quarterback and stuff.

I don't even have the strength to explain why. Just... ****.
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