The gameplan today is simple: attack San Diego's weak #2 CB, put RT Danny Villa at TE and TE Jonathan Hayes at FB and pound San Diego's left side, away from Junior Seau.
On the first play I get Willie Davis one on one with that shitty dude and decide to take Coach DJ's Left Nut advice and Aaron Rodgers it.
Well gee, thanks coach. Last time I take your advice. I'm Joe Montana, and I'm going to do what I want to do from now on.
The Chargers take the turnover and move to midfield.
OH SNAP. That's huge. My offense is doing absolutely nothing, though, and San Diego gets inside the 10 on their next drive. On third down...
HUGE play by DT, user'd be me of course. Stan had an open path to the end zone thanks to Dale Carter standing around agape, but pure hustle and a huge lick forces a field goal.
After an exchange of punts, disaster strikes.
Welp. Pure bonehead pick. Fortunately, Stan Humphries is thinking about fish tacos because this happens on third down:
7-6, and damn lucky to be that way. Late in the half, the offense FINALLY gets moving, and Joe has his chance on third down.
ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME? TWO GUYS OPEN FOR A TD. EITHER ONE OF THEM CAN CATCH IT FOR SIX.
INSTEAD IT BOUNCES OFF KEITH CASH'S HEAD AND GETS PICKED????
ARE. YOU. ****ING. KIDDING? 7-6 at half and I have three goddamn picks. My only score is defensive. This could not be going worse. I'm going to blow this.
I'm going to blow this.
POWER FOOTBALL WORKS. 14-6. Feeling a lot better now, especially after earning that elusive "don't throw a goddamn pick" drive goal. Can the defense hold?
WHAT. A. PICK.
I should just sit on it now, right? No sense in getting risky.
Eschewing all logic, I go for the jugular.
Well, at least that one didn't bounce of Jonathan Hayes' head. 21-6! I can taste the playoffs!
IT'S A CELEBRATION BITCHES!
My worst offensive day turns into a fine one, and the Chiefs go to Buffalo.
AFC PLAYOFFS
1. Houston 2. Oakland
5. Browns @ 4. Steelers
6. Chiefs @ 3. Bills
NFC PLAYOFFS
1. Falcons 2. Cowboys
5. Saints @ 4. 49ers
6. Eagles @ 3. Lions