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Would I tell the spouse, probably not. But I wouldn't do anything to cover for the friend either. I might tell my wife and let her go do the dirty work.
As far as my friend's spouse having an affair, I assume he would already have some suspicion, so I might try to confirm his suspicion without spelling it out for him.
If I found out that my friend's spouse was having an affair because I woke up next to her in a cheap motel room, I would not say anything to my friend.
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"I don't really think there is a need to raise or debate this point."
-jAZ
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