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Well, I'd take whatever Marty/Cowher were doing back in the day defensively, and attach the dink and dunk WCO to the nearest tree, burn it with a nuclear-powered flamethrower, and nevar look back.
Also, any time the HC called a screen, I would incorporate a device similar to a dog shock collar which would be attached to his balls, and operated remotely from the stands by a midget in a little red and gold leprachaun outfit who would simulataneously dance a happy little jig while pushing the button repeatedly.
Hope that helps.
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