Some things that may help.
Think of the metro as the new start menu (and for god's sake type the name of the program you want. Hell even in 7 and Vista this was faster than clicking)
Learn some keyboard shortcuts (there is an app for that) such as Windows Key + M to go to the desktop. Windows Key to go back to the metro.
And I didn't read the entire thread, so this may be mentioned already but if you absolutely cannot stand metro, try this
Start8. It will bring back the traditional windows desktop and start menu. This will work for people who are running 8 on laptops or desktops without touchscreens.
I will say that I hate the IE app from the metro and use IE from the desktop. I have a Surface RT so no other browsers yet.