[Saulbadguy]

Originally Posted by Bob Dole

Email request from the top:



Seriously? IT'S A ****ING TELEPHONE. It's that thing sitting on your desk that makes a noise once in awhile, and has pretty much the standard components of EVERY OTHER ****ING PHONE YOU'VE EVER SEEN. When it makes a noise, pick up the handset and say hello. It's even nicer if you identify who the **** you are and ask the caller how you might assist them.

If you want to make a call, USE THE ****ING NUMBER PAD. If you need an outside line, press 9 first, JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER ****ING POST BRANCH EXCHANGE PHONE YOU'VE EVER USED. Its primary capability is that it facilitates communication between you and someone at a remote location! Pretty ****ing sweet, huh?

And no...IT WON'T SEND A FAX OR MAKE YOU ANY ****ING SMARTER, BECAUSE IT'S JUST A ****ING PHONE.

If you aren't bright enough to figure out any additional features available through pressing the CLEARLY LABELED BUTTONS OR SOFTKEYS (which more often than not, result in MORE CLEARLY LABELED SOFTKEYS), you're probably not ****ing bright enough to use them without bothering me every ****ing time you feel the urge to use them, so pretend they aren't there. If you have enough time to sit and ponder all the spiffy things your phone might be able to do, YOU CLEARLY HAVE TOO MUCH ****ING SPARE TIME AND SHOULD FIND SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE TO DO.

Did you send the e-mail?