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Eye retina magazine that the leading cause of poor attendance in schools is missing pupils.
Famous last words of the attacker: "Outta sight!"
Hey, the victim should look at the bright side (with her one good eye, of course): She now can double for Mike Wazowski and a quite a number of the primary characters of Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride attraction and movie sequels.
Ironically, the victim's most favorite song ever is Foreigner's "Double Vision".
On the other hand, her least favorite song ever is Debbie Gibson's "Lost In Your Eyes". (That goes for many of us...ameyeright?)
Best thing to say to the victim so as to not draw attention to her handicap: "So what have you got on your ipod?".
Are these lines too cornea?
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