'stole' his first wife from his very best friend, losing the friend in the process. Actually he wanted to date her first but had lost his job and had no money to date. So she started dating the BF and moved in with him. They became buddies, but he still carried a torch. Told her he needed to stop seeing her as a buddy as his feelings were too strong, and she 'showed me her tits'
. Turns out she was crazy, constantly threatening to kill herself. He wanted out but between the suicide threats, his own dad being a deadbeat ass, and his 'feminist' ideals, stuck with it. Relates ending every day with 'OK, tomorrow I'm going to figure this out and she'll be happy.'
Then goes to LA for New Radio, crushes hard on Maura Tierney 'geez, if I was single, I could date a nice sane lady like her' Hears a song on the radio, and 'loses the ability to operate heavy machinery' weeping. 'OK, maybe I'm a little unhappy'
Finally broke up and 'came into most of LA's lady parts.'
Tons of great stuff
Poor guy got his alimony set when he had his biggest contract with New Radio, owes 400% of what he presently makes to the suicide threatener. Would be arrested if he found himself on Canadian soil.