[Naptown Chief]

Originally Posted by FAX

I'm not a plumber, but I did stay at a plumber's house one night on account of he ran a bed and breakfast in North Carolina.

The old house was okay I guess, but this plumber guy was some kind of insane, sleep-walking, nocturnal, zombie fiend intent on keeping every damn body in the house up all night because he would prowl the halls at all hours. The plank floors were squeaky as hell and he was obviously the most equilibrium-afflicted, tinnitus-impaired zombie in the entire state ... probably the world really, because, while he was roaming around the place, he would bump into the walls and moan like somebody had stolen his testicles and hid them in a secret room. He bumped into my door around 3:00 am and scared me so bad I decided to move an armoire and an ancient tennis racket he had hanging on the wall in front of the door to block it. Then for breakfast, he kinda stared at us with his bloodshot-red, demon-eyes and the only breakfast was some McDonald's coupons he handed out to his guests.

FAX

I so thought you were going to say "...but I did stay at a Holiday Inn." Carry on