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She's lieing and hiding things. Dump her.
I'd go for the mind-F like Mohillbilly suggested.
Tell her something like "I'm letting you go because you've got 1 buttcheek that is shaped strangely, and I can't get over it".
She'll spend the next 5 years turning in circles like a dog chasing its tail trying to look at her butt every time she's naked or puts on a new outfit....
It'll be awesome. Wish I'd have thought of it back when I was breaking hearts and wombs.
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