[ModSocks]

Look guys, you're not thinking clearly. This is how this goes down:

I emerge from the ocean water, my pecs and perfect abs glistening in the sun while all the ladies turn their attention to me. I do a slow hero walk onto the sand, cool....calm....ready to unleash the beast.

Canoworms takes his flippy-floppies off, but he's not a beach guy, so he starts doing the hot-foot dance and the heat from the sand burns his sensitive little non-beach girly feet, distracting him.

But then he sees me and my magnificent body and immediately tries to shoot at me, but he has an eye patch therefore can't shoot worth a shit. His aim is way off as i charge at him. I start dodging pellets Matrix style. Sure, a few hit me, but not enough to matter because i'm naturally faster than Canoworms anyway.

I toss a jagged edge rock and take out another eye, now he can't see at all. I leap into the air and come crashing down with a superman punch. BAM! Rock straight to the face.

Now he's dazed and i continuously pummel him with the blunt rock until his head ceases to exist. The women cheer, lift me up and carry me to go get soft serve. The end.

That's how it happens, boys. Don't fool yourselves into thinking otherwise.