[Biohazard]

A man buys a parrot, but after several weeks of trying, is unable
to get it to speak a single word. In desperation he takes the
bird to a vet for advice.

The vet tells him that the parrot's beak is too long which is
preventing him from speaking. He says that he can file it down
for $100.

The parrot's owner thought that was rather expensive and wondered
aloud if he could just file it down himself.

The vet tells him that it is a very delicate procedure and must
be done by a trained professional. If he does not file enough,
the bird still wont be able to talk, but if he files too much,
the bird will drown while drinking his water.

The man decides to think it over and leaves with the parrot.

Several weeks later, the vet happens to meet the parrot owner who
is looking rather down. He inquires about the parrot and the man
replies that his parrot is dead.

"Did you try to file his beak down yourself?" asked the vet.

The man nods his head.

"And he drowned while trying to drink his water, right?"

"No," replied the parrot's owner, "he was dead when I took his
head out of the vise."