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Whoops - I do sometimes meet your criteria. I'm a concrete cowboy. When the rodeo comes to town (and a select few other times of the year), I'll throw on my ostrich boots and beaver felt hat and take the wife out to eat. If you screwed me just 'cuz I'm wearing a hat, you blew it. I'm one of the best tippers I know.
Also, my old man doesn't fit any of your criteria and he's the worst tipper. Every time I eat with him, I augment the tip after he's left the table.
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