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So being a married old guy, sometimes I test my attractiveness to the opposite sex. I was looking for a birthday card and a decent looking mom was hovering, trying to get to the same selection I was looking at. It was awkward, I found my card, a glittery one, got that crap all over me. I looked at her and simply said "I could do without the glitter" and good lord, she busted out with laugh heard half way across the store, like I told her the funniest thing ever. Kinda freaked me out, I went on my way.
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