Originally Posted by GoWalrus
I admit to being completely clueless about booze...therefore I am asking.
Educate me, drunkard.
1) Freeze the glass - don't add water to a good (expensive) drink.
2) Learn blends. Malts. How many malts? Filters. Age. All plays in to the taste of the drink.
3) Play stupid and taste for free. You're in shape - find a gay bartender and ask him what the difference is. You won't have much difficulty selling yourself as a legitimate opportunity.
If you feel guilty remind yourself that women do this every single day and get drunk for free (I don't know what the kids call it now but it use to be "milking a man.")