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Dear Pushead:
Take her to dinner at an expensive restaurant. Order the most expensive thing on the menu. When the bill comes, act like you lost your wallet. Make her pay. Stop on the way home, make her buy a bottle of really good champagne. Go back to her place. Get her drunk then proceed to do every nasty, kinky, perverted sexual act you can think of to her. When she falls asleep from sexual exhaustion, steal $50 out of her purse. Go into the kitchen, take a dump in the fridge crisper bin. Leave and never call her again.
She'll either think you're a wild man and want more, or want to "fix your flaws" because you are now a challenge. If she doesn't respond within two weeks, grudge-fuck her best girlfriend.
Sincerely,
Every Un-Married Guy on the CP
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