[Rain Man]

Nine months after the fact someone leaked the video. I shall put on my Sherlock Holmes hat and identify the suspects.

(Takes a puff on my Meerschaum pipe, slowly pacing the room with all of the suspects.)

You! (Pointing at the Patriots.) You have unlimited money, a reputation for cheating, and a strong motive for undermining the Chiefs at this precise point in time.

You! (Swirling and pointing at Cleveland police guy.) You have a video in your possession that TMZ is willing to pay good money for, and you have inside contacts to keep you from getting arrested for tampering with evidence. And I suspect you're a Browns fan.

You! (Pointing to gold digger.) Why are you in the room? No one wants you here. Here's your phone, and please go away.

You! (Turning and pointing to TMZ.) You're run by a Patriots fan and you have a horrible show that's poorly produced. But you also have an immediate profit motive, so your motive would have been satisfied eight months ago. You can leave, even though I hate you.

You! (Pointing to Broncos.) You're in the room just because we all know you're evil. You're in every room full of suspects.

You! (Pointing to John Dorsey.) You probably don't like the Chiefs, you have connections, and you're fighting for a playoff spot. But you've got Baker Mayfield who was probably in the room at the time. You can go.

You! (Pointing to gold digger.) Wait, why are you still here? I told you to leave.

You! (Pointing to Kareem Hunt.) Releasing this video would get you out of your rookie contract and get you to a new team on a potentially bigger deal. But you loved your team and five seconds of analysis will prove that this won't get you a bigger deal. You can go.

You! (Turning and pointing to hotel employee.) You make low pay and this is probably the biggest money making opportunity you'll ever have. Clear motive and opportunity here, though the timing is wrong. You would have sold out immediately. You can leave.

You! (Pointing to gold digger.) WTF? Why are you still here? GO. AWAY.