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Pilsner · 06-29-2017, 05:16 PM

This is the first time I’ve told this story:

A few months ago, I was leaving a friend’s house and I had taken a wrong turn out of his neighborhood. I was now struggling to find my way back to a road I recognized. Debating about pulling over and getting out my cellphone, I suddenly saw two children running in the berm parallel to the road, about 50 yards in front of my card. I genuinely did not believe what I was seeing, so I slowed down and squinted out the front window. It was as if these two tiny kids were reading my mind and playing on my worst fears, they decided to cross into road. From behind, I couldn’t tell how old they were, but they were very small and that had that gait that toddlers have – impeded by a diaper and with only rudimentary command over their gross motor function. These kids were sprinting towards a T-intersection about 25 feet from them with a much larger road with cars going in excess of 45mph. The fear I felt in that moment of seeing these kids doing their best lemming impression was unlike I have felt in my life.

I gassed it. Full on, stepped on my car's gas pedal and I felt the kickdown switch engage. I heard the car downshift and my car was screaming until I was about 25 feet from the kids. I stomped on the brakes as hard as I ever have in a car that I own, threw on the emergency flashers, jumped out of the car and went into a dead goddamned sprint. I met the kids about 10 feet from the ****ing intersection, picked them up, and carried them both to the sidewalk. They were both crying at this point, because they assumed some sweaty, un-athletic man was assaulting them and spoiling their fun.

I look at these two kids and see that neither one is much older than 2 or 3 years old. At this point, I’m no longer terrified but just dazed. Where the **** are these kids’ parents?!? I ask the older of the two, a little girl, where her mom is and she looked at me with hate and confusion. They’re brown, so I made a guess and tried my broken Spanish – “Donday estah Mama?” She just starts crying louder.

A middle-aged woman and her teenage son come running up and asking me if everything is all right. Apparently, they were on the other side of the road and heard my car accelerating. Before I have a chance to respond, two Mexican men come running up, clearly disturbed and scared out of their ****ing minds. At this point, what happened was a blur. I think I remember asking the little girl, “Is that your Papa?” (struggling to come up with the word padre) as I didn’t know who the **** these guys were.
The two guys said “Thank god, thank god, the garage door latch broke”. I don’t remember what I said. I walked back to my car and drove away as I was so goddamn freaked out that I didn’t have the presence of mind to ask any more questions, let alone to do anything useful. I went home and drank dark liquor before the sun set for probably the first time in my life.

Going over this in my mind, I’m extraordinarily lucky that day didn’t go much, MUCH worse for those two children and I. A few things I didn’t think about at the time: Did I just hand those kids over to complete strangers? They could’ve been rapists for all I know. I just assumed because they were the right color that they are related, but I have no way of knowing that. Should I have called the police? Again, for no reason other than the welfare of those kids. That likely WAS their dad or relative, but even if it was, who the **** locks two toddlers in a garage and then doesn’t notice when they’re gone and running head long into certain death? What the **** would have happened if that lady and her teenage son DIDN’T see the whole thing but just happened to come up to see me sweating, out of breath, kneeling next to small children that are crying and don’t want anything to do with me? I could’ve been charged for attempted abduction or some other nonsense. I left my car in the middle of the goddamn street with the hazards blinking and the driver side door open. What would’ve happened if someone would’ve wrecked into that?

I try not to think about it. My real takeaway from that day was this:
1. I need to get in better shape
2. I need to learn some more Spanish
3. People need to watch their mother****ing kids.

06-29-2017, 05:16 PM	#89
Pilsner Starter Join Date: Oct 2011 Casino cash: $8432061	This is the first time I’ve told this story: A few months ago, I was leaving a friend’s house and I had taken a wrong turn out of his neighborhood. I was now struggling to find my way back to a road I recognized. Debating about pulling over and getting out my cellphone, I suddenly saw two children running in the berm parallel to the road, about 50 yards in front of my card. I genuinely did not believe what I was seeing, so I slowed down and squinted out the front window. It was as if these two tiny kids were reading my mind and playing on my worst fears, they decided to cross into road. From behind, I couldn’t tell how old they were, but they were very small and that had that gait that toddlers have – impeded by a diaper and with only rudimentary command over their gross motor function. These kids were sprinting towards a T-intersection about 25 feet from them with a much larger road with cars going in excess of 45mph. The fear I felt in that moment of seeing these kids doing their best lemming impression was unlike I have felt in my life. I gassed it. Full on, stepped on my car's gas pedal and I felt the kickdown switch engage. I heard the car downshift and my car was screaming until I was about 25 feet from the kids. I stomped on the brakes as hard as I ever have in a car that I own, threw on the emergency flashers, jumped out of the car and went into a dead goddamned sprint. I met the kids about 10 feet from the **ing intersection, picked them up, and carried them both to the sidewalk. They were both crying at this point, because they assumed some sweaty, un-athletic man was assaulting them and spoiling their fun. I look at these two kids and see that neither one is much older than 2 or 3 years old. At this point, I’m no longer terrified but just dazed. Where the are these kids’ parents?!? I ask the older of the two, a little girl, where her mom is and she looked at me with hate and confusion. They’re brown, so I made a guess and tried my broken Spanish – “Donday estah Mama?” She just starts crying louder. A middle-aged woman and her teenage son come running up and asking me if everything is all right. Apparently, they were on the other side of the road and heard my car accelerating. Before I have a chance to respond, two Mexican men come running up, clearly disturbed and scared out of their ing minds. At this point, what happened was a blur. I think I remember asking the little girl, “Is that your Papa?” (struggling to come up with the word padre) as I didn’t know who the these guys were. The two guys said “Thank god, thank god, the garage door latch broke”. I don’t remember what I said. I walked back to my car and drove away as I was so goddamn freaked out that I didn’t have the presence of mind to ask any more questions, let alone to do anything useful. I went home and drank dark liquor before the sun set for probably the first time in my life. Going over this in my mind, I’m extraordinarily lucky that day didn’t go much, MUCH worse for those two children and I. A few things I didn’t think about at the time: Did I just hand those kids over to complete strangers? They could’ve been rapists for all I know. I just assumed because they were the right color that they are related, but I have no way of knowing that. Should I have called the police? Again, for no reason other than the welfare of those kids. That likely WAS their dad or relative, but even if it was, who the locks two toddlers in a garage and then doesn’t notice when they’re gone and running head long into certain death? What the would have happened if that lady and her teenage son DIDN’T see the whole thing but just happened to come up to see me sweating, out of breath, kneeling next to small children that are crying and don’t want anything to do with me? I could’ve been charged for attempted abduction or some other nonsense. I left my car in the middle of the goddamn street with the hazards blinking and the driver side door open. What would’ve happened if someone would’ve wrecked into that? I try not to think about it. My real takeaway from that day was this: 1. I need to get in better shape 2. I need to learn some more Spanish 3. People need to watch their mother**ing kids.
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