[Mr. Kotter]

True Story--not over-the-top, but real:

The last workday before Christmas we have a department Festivus Feast--a big potluck of all the Superbowl/Holiday/Decadent foods that working class folks can muster. Anyway, one year there were two temps in the office. Someone had brought those peach snack-paks as a "healthier" dessert (LOL.) Anyway we ran out of spoons and this old geezer, scooped them out with his fingers over a trash can...to keep the liquid off the carpet, I suppose. He ate 4 of those cups. We all just stared in disbelief.

The best one though was the other temp, a rather large fella (At least "Damn!" if not "Hell, nah!" on the Gabriel Inglesias scale of fat,) there was a chili-cheese dip that was a tradition. Mostly it is a chip dip kinda appetizer. When we ran out of chips, this fella took to putting 4-6 oz scoops of the dip into a paper plate that he folded into a funnel--an drank the dip from while holding it above his head. After that no one else wanted any dip, or really anything to eat. Over the course of the afternoon, this fella downed at least 2 full cups of the stuff. Not even kidding.

(On a side note this same temp once used the employee bathroom and literally sprayed chunky style diarrhea all over the stool, floor, and onto the walls. It was weeks before anyone would use that bathroom again--and only after the EPA sent a toxic clean-up crew...)