[Rain Man]

Here's the situation:

You take a tour of Cape Canaveral, and put a dollar into one of those glass donations things at the end.

All of a sudden, bells ring, confetti falls, balloons go every which way, and the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders begin dancing around you. You're their 10,000,000th visitor!

As a prize, you get your choice of a 3-day Caribbean cruise, $1 million, or a job as an astronaut. Like any sane person, you select the astronaut job and join the corps.

Ninety days later, you're swinging around in one of those centrifuge things alongside a chimpanzee when big news comes in. A large meteor is headed toward the earth.

NASA immediately begins plans to intercept the meteor and redirect it using explosives. They identify a crack team of astronauts to man the mission. Unfortunately, one of the space suit technicians doesn't believe in vaccinating children, so he and all of the other astronauts get the measles, leaving only you and the chimpanzee, whose name is Hal.

Needing four people, NASA assigns you, Hal the chimp, Senator John Glenn, and Hollywood legend Bruce Willis to the mission. You take off.

Unfortunately, there is an incident en route, and Hal the chimpanzee eats the faces off of Bruce Willis and John Glenn. Fortunately, you were on a space walk at the time. Hal attempts to keep you locked out, but you gain access, use a mechanized fork lift to fend him off, and force him out of the air lock.

That now poses another problem, because you need at least two primates to successfully divert the meteor. With only one of you, all you can do is direct where it'll hit on earth and how big the impact will be. Due to a very effective lobbying effort by PETA, you cannot send the meteor into the ocean or any uninhabited area.

A direct hit will wipe out a particular region, killing the entire population. Where do you send it?

Politically insensitive poll to follow.