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I have a buddy who used to have a penchant for picking up the fattest chick in any club.
(Beer was clearly the problem).
I'd try to intervene by asking him how many fingers I was holding up. If I flashed 3 he said 2, 2 was 1. The guy was hopeless...
The fattest thing he did was a 350 lb boar masquerading as a woman.
He swears to this day "she had great tits".
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