My First Christmas on CP...
 

What are you getting your wives? I am actually getting her a pair of wire cutters and a voucher to a local women's clothing store. The voucher is for $150, and the wire cutters will direct her to the christmas tree. Which will direct her to a zip tie with a tag that says cut me. Out will fall a small fake (i hope its real) diamond ring. Married 8 years, Love her to death. :D:)

Aww, that's so sweet.

I'm getting my wife the same thing I get her every year: not a ****ing thing.

that my friend is even sweeter

it only means she has everything :D

We go on cruises and we have a Disney timeshare. We bought a house where she now gets to foster kittens. She doesn't like jewelry. About the only thing she probably wants is a night of being double-teamed by Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Shemar Moore... and that's out of my price range.

My name is Jeffrey Morgan

don't EVER let my wife talk to yours, i hate you (if i could get her 20 rescues and afford it i would) :D

I am divorced, so maybe a hand grenade.

The Alonzo Bodden standup bit about how Christmas shopping goes for a long term marriage pretty much applies to us. In January, I'll look at the credit card bill and see what I got her for Christmas. Then I'll say to myself, "that was nice of me"

Smucks all yeez are smucks except bevischief he has the right idea.

I'm getting the GF a pair of slippers and a dildo. If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go **** herself.

we are forgoing gifts and going to Puerto Vallarta in the spring.

You're the smuck for not knowing how to spell schmuck.

I figured it was just a hip way to call us all jelly fans.