20. Ravens (8-8, 10-6, 12-4) 30-18
19. Steelers (8-8, 8-8, 12-4) 28-20
18. Falcons (10-6, 13-3, 4-12) 27-21
17. Bears (8-8, 10-6, 8-8) 26-22
16. Giants (9-7, 9-7, 7-9) 25-23
t-15. Cowboys (8-8, 8-8, 8-8) 24-24
t-14. Houston (2-14, 12-4, 10-6) 24-24
13. Cardinals (8-8, 5-11, 10-6) 23-25
t-12. New York Jets (8-8, 6-10, 8-8) 22-26
t-11. Tennessee (7-9, 6-10, 9-7) 22-26
t-10. Lions (10-6, 4-12, 7-9) 21-27
t-9. Miami (6-10, 7-9, 8-8) 21-27
8. Vikings (3-13, 10-6, 5-10-1) 18-29-1
t-7. Redskins (5-11, 10-6, 3-13) 18-30
t-6. Buffalo (6-10, 6-10, 6-10) 18-30
5. Rams (2-14, 7-8-1, 7-9) 16-31-1
4. Bucs (4-12, 7-9, 4-12) 15-33
3. Browns (4-12, 5-11, 4-12) 13-35
2. Oakland (4-12, 4-12, 4-12) 12-36
1. Jacksonville (4-12, 2-14, 5-11) 11-37

Parity is great and a huge part of why the NFL has been so successful in the last 20 years. I think the league is at its best when surprise teams make resurgences. Sports fans are average people, and average people are morons, and morons thrive on human interest rags-to-riches-template feel good stories. People eat that shit up. When the Cleveland Browns finally rise out of the muck, they'll be one of the most beloved teams in the league of the average fan, similar to the Arizona Cardinals in 2009 or the 1999 Rams. Yet as it is now, the only way to give bad teams swift kicks in the asses in the right direction is in giving them a whopping TWO favorable games over their opponents (and in a constantly changing environment even THAT'S not guaranteed). The other is the NFL draft, which is hardly a unique phenomenon to sports at all. That's it. That's what the NFL does to help those teams help the NFL. It's missing out on some cash.

Well, here we have the Cleveland ****ing Browns. The Buffalo Bills. The Oakland Raiders. How the **** is it that these teams can suck so hard for so long, yet the team that gets Andrew Luck is the Indianapolis ****ing Colts?

"Just works out that way, I guess. Nothing you can do about it."

"Those teams are shitty because they're run by shitty people. That's why."

"Quit yer bitching, SNR."

Let me respond to #3 first: Go eat a flaming AIDS sandwich with antifreeze sauce.

On point #2: Yes, you're half right. The lack of a true star at ANY position on all those teams (with the exception of Josh Gordon for the Browns in the past season) lends itself to those teams not having a ****ing clue at all how to evaluate talent in the draft. So what? The NFL STILL has to deal with these sad sack franchises sucking dick each and every year with no end in sight. And really, until the Chiefs prove they can win a playoff game or make the playoffs two years in a row or more, they're in the exact same ****ing boat. And this is a problem. It's one thing if a team with a huge fanbase makes this shit happen. It's another if it's the Indianapolis ****ing Colts that do this shit. And from the fan's perspective, who wants to watch the same team in the playoffs year after year when they did absolutely NOTHING to extend that tenure of playoff success for another decade or more?

"It just works out that way, I guess. Nothing you can do about it."

Wrong. Dead ****ing wrong. It doesn't have to work out that way. The NBA is currently going through a problem known as Shitty League Syndrome when a near guaranteed big-time draft class comes up. Teams tank it. It only makes sense for them to tank given that the sport as it is has a small amount of players per team with positional importance spread out somewhat evenly (i.e. who cares if they're a C or PG? A star is a star-- get more stars, get more wins). The NFL, with a whopping 22 starting players compared to the NBA's 5 has an advantage to prevent teams from tanking. There are just too many positions to go around to worry about tanking it for this or that player. The positions are also widely dispersed in terms of value to the team, with each position having its own pros and cons in the nuances of how to go about investing in talent. It's so complicated, and that's why the NFL draft has become the monster success that it is.

But when you bend the rules as the NFL has done to favor offenses, scoring, and AHEM COUGH COUGH HACCCCK CCKHHHAUGUUUGHH COUGH COUGHUHCH TEAMS WITH QBS WHO RAPE FACES....... *cough*... you're taking away from that nuance. It becomes all about the quarterback. And these rules aren't going to get better. They're going to get worse. That means already brilliant QBs like Andrew Luck are going to have their team value inflated even MORE than it is now.

It's becoming the case that the NFL has to start regulating the flow of these players. Not by hand-picking the teams, but just by setting out to really accomplish the mission of the NFL draft order system, where the worst teams receive the higher picks.

The problem that the NFL has on its hands in the past few years is that it's becoming the case that the REAL worst teams in the league aren't receiving those top picks. A team like the 2011 Colts was bad for one season out of a zillion years of good seasons. They didn't slowly decline. They weren't inconsistent and up-and-down from year to year. They were brilliant under a franchise QB and then they sucked when he got injured. And then they were proclaimed to be the worst team in the league.

And that's not true. Nor is it right. The Cleveland Browns and the St. Louis Rams have been struggling teams for years. It's not right that their marginal improvements (4-12 instead of 2-14) mean they were less deserving of that top pick. It means they are bad because they don't know how to stop losing. That's a worse kind of bad, and a team problem that needs more assistance through player development and the draft.