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-   -   Life See how you measure up with the new Condum Size app (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=269455)

Deberg_1990 01-29-2013 01:12 PM

See how you measure up with the new Condum Size app
 
1 Attachment(s)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_2550848.html



Siri, do I need a Magnum?

That's a question that your iPhone can now answer for you, thanks to a new prophylactic suggestion and safe-sex education app called Condom Size. Condom Size's main function is getting an accurate measurement of both the length and girth of the male genitalia in order to identify the best condom for that man. In order to get that measurement, the app asks the man to hold his erect member up against the edge of the iPhone and use the inch or centimeter markings to obtain an accurate lengthwise appraisal:

One coworker, upon hearing a description of this app, said, "I am never borrowing anyone else's iPhone again."

After you enter your length and girth measurements, the app recommends a condom, as well as your own "world ranking" (how you compare to the average international length and girth). From there, you can view a chart of different condoms and purchase them on Amazon, read a few condom tips or enjoy some fun condom facts.

The app, a disclaimer urges upon startup, is for entertainment purposes only, and the team behind the program doesn't appear to have any sort of medical credentials behind it; Condom Size's official webpage does feature some extended information, though all of it appears to have been copied from the "Human Penis Size" Wikipedia page.

In other words: Don't take the Condom Size app too seriously. It's good for a distraction but probably should not dictate your condom-purchasing habits. And if you're going to use it, please: Wipe off your screen with a WetNap when you're done.

ModSocks 01-29-2013 01:17 PM

Not needed.

If you are average or above, you can rock a Magnum if you want. I don't "need" a magnum but i prefer them because they are more comfortable.

MeatRock 01-29-2013 01:18 PM

Why are there pubes stuck in your phone?

keg in kc 01-29-2013 01:24 PM

I don't need an app to tell me I don't need a magnum.

Or a condom for that matter.

I need the lotion and kleenex app.

the Talking Can 01-29-2013 01:27 PM

i used a weather sock until i hit puberty

Easy 6 01-29-2013 01:27 PM

I've found that magnums just wont do for me, i go with Equine brand condoms... those fit just right.

tooge 01-29-2013 01:29 PM

step three, give your phone to a buddy and tell him the call is for him. Then after he tries to answer it, show him this app that you've used many times.

MahiMike 01-29-2013 01:30 PM

What's a condom?

Mr. Flopnuts 01-29-2013 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scott free (Post 9361961)
I've found that magnums just wont do for me, i go with Equine brand condoms... those fit just right.

http://cdn2.sbnation.com/uploads/cho...dard_352.0.jpg

Deberg_1990 01-29-2013 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9361968)
step three, give your phone to a buddy and tell him the call is for him. Then after he tries to answer it, show him this app that you've used many times.

ROFL This might put a dent in the sale of used iPhones

listopencil 01-29-2013 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detoxing (Post 9361923)
Not needed.

If you are average or above, you can rock a Magnum if you want. I don't "need" a magnum but i prefer them because they are more comfortable.

Having a condom break on you is like getting snapped on your dick with a rubber band. It can be a mood breaker.

siberian khatru 01-29-2013 01:36 PM

First, gonna need me a bigger phone!

The Franchise 01-29-2013 01:37 PM

Apparently they get pissed if you use this app in the store with the demo phones.

BossChief 01-29-2013 01:38 PM

I typed in all the info and the app laughed at me.

Not doing that again.

Easy 6 01-29-2013 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9361980)

LMAO i'd put the fear in blondie.

MeatRock 01-29-2013 01:40 PM

Ya i'm not sure if the app goes down to mm.

Mr. Flopnuts 01-29-2013 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scott free (Post 9362010)
LMAO i'd put the fear in blondie.

How tough it must be, to get off scott free!

Pasta Little Brioni 01-29-2013 05:42 PM

Put it an inch and it said thanks for returning Blackbob

sd4chiefs 01-29-2013 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siberian khatru (Post 9361997)
First, gonna need me a bigger phone!

Is this app available for the Ipad?:shrug:

BlackHelicopters 01-29-2013 06:15 PM

Never used a condom. Sterilized at birth. Probably best.

Fish 01-29-2013 06:22 PM

Phone just did a hard reset....

Deberg_1990 02-14-2013 03:11 PM

Not sure if this is the same app as the thread starter, but Chubby Checker is sueing HP for using his name in conjunction with a "penis size" app. I guess i never realized how big a Market there was out there for this sort of functionality? ROFL




http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2013...ewlett-packard



Rock'n'roll pioneer Chubby Checker is suing two computer companies for allowing his name to be used as the title of an app that guesses the size of a man's penis.


Checker's lawyers are seeking half a billion dollars for the "irreparable damage and harm" caused by the Chubby Checker, an app for Hewlett-Packard's Palm OS platform. "This lawsuit is about preserving the integrity and legacy of a man who has spent years working hard at his musical craft and has earned the position of one of the greatest musical entertainers of all time," explained lawyer Willie Gary.


The Chubby Checker was removed from all official Palm and Hewlett-Packard listings in September 2012, the companies told WebOSNation. But an old listing for the program lays out its raison d'être: "Any of you ladies out there just start seeing someone new and wondering what the size of there [sic] member is? … All you need to do is find out the man's shoe size and plug it in and … there is no need for disappointment or surprise." The developers, a defunct studio called Magic Apps, boast of the app's international appeal: the Chubby Checker accepts UK, US and European shoe sizes.


The real Chubby Checker, 71, was born with the name Ernest Evans. He trademarked his stage name in 1997. The singer's lawyers allege that the app will "blur and tarnish" this trademark, associating the Checker name with "obscene, sexual connotation and images". Furthermore, "purchasers of 'the Chubby Checker' app and non-purchasing browsers of the associated web page are being misled into believing that plaintiffs have endorsed defendant's app".


The creator of the Twist is demanding "all profits" amassed by the defendants in association with the Chubby Checker – an amount that somehow approaches $500m (£320m), according to his lawyers' press release. As noted in response by TCPalm, one software website shows that the $0.99 app has been downloaded just 84 times.


Checker, whose first No 1 was The Twist in 1960, had an unexpected comeback in 2008, reaching No 1 in the US dance charts with the song Knock Down the Walls. His shoe size is unknown.

BigMeatballDave 02-14-2013 03:14 PM

When in doubt, shroud that spout.

lcarus 02-14-2013 03:15 PM

It's amazing that some dudes can even use some of those magnum XLs. You could prevent an elephant from sneezing with those things.

Strongside 02-14-2013 03:15 PM

I've been with the same girl for 11 years. I haven't bought condoms in about 4. It is glorious.

lcarus 02-14-2013 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strongside (Post 9403171)
I've been with the same girl for 11 years. I haven't bought condoms in about 4. It is glorious.

Not as glorious as a glory hole. Of course...prob want a rubber for that. Unless you're a risk-taker like me.

BlackHelicopters 02-14-2013 05:58 PM

Never used a condom. Is that bad?

AustinChief 02-14-2013 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siberian khatru (Post 9361997)
First, gonna need me a bigger phone!

Exactly! Is this final proof that all iPhone users have small penises? Iphone length = 4.87 inches. Ouch!

Scorp 02-14-2013 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop (Post 9403540)
Never used a condom. Is that bad?

Only if your dick falls off.

KChiefer 02-14-2013 09:10 PM

Does nobody own a ruler(yardstick in my case) anymore?

Dayze 02-14-2013 09:12 PM

I just use a balloon.

Demonpenz 02-14-2013 09:18 PM

what size of a dental dam should I use. this girls box is huge.


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