Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 14 - Fire Me Boy! versus CHENZ A!
 

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - Contestant 1 is at the top of an upward-moving escalator and Contestant 2 is at the bottom. The escalator is the only space in the venue.
Starting Distance - 99 feet

Fire Me Boy!

Main Weapon - Pirate cutlass
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 5 Minutes
Special Factors - You have been blood doping in anticipation of the fight (boosting your red blood cell count for higher endurance)

CHENZ A!

Main Weapon - Chain Saw
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 7 Minutes
Special Factors - Snowshoes are tied to your feet

Normally I would side with chain saw over cutlass, but the snow shoes tied to teh feet of CHENZ A! are the deciding factor here and Fire Me Boy! comes away the victor.

Add in FMB is swinging downward while C A is forced to swing upward (which I missed) and it's even easier to see who the victor should be.

They are in a damn escalator, I think the chain saw still wins

Alright, this is how this happens:

The two of them sweat nervously as the escalator draws them closer to combat. Both weapons ready, they clash at the center of the escalator. The Chainsaw is intimidating, but too heavy to be nimble, as Chenza swings clumsly and the two weapons collide.

The chainsaw breaks the cutlass in half, and the force knocks the the sword from Fire Me's hands, but one of the links on the chain breaks as well, rendering the chainsaw useless....

On the 2nd pass they are forced into hand to hand combat. Fire Me Boy is able to outlast Chenza because of his blood doping and carb loading from a delicious plate of home made pasta. Chenza wears out and Fire Me Boy is eventually able to throw him over the edge of the escalator. Chenza gets impaled on half the cutlass that's protruding from the ground.

Snowshoes on an escalator?! Cue the keystone cops music. He probably kills himself fallng down with the chainsaw running.

Couldn't CHENZ just use the chainsaw to trim the snowshoes down to a smaller size?

:clap:

Could we be more specific on the blood doping?

EPO?

Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 14 - Fire Me Boy! versus CHENZ A!
 

If CHENZ A!’s chainsaw is anything like mine, he spends his entire 7 minutes prep time trying to start the chainsaw and wears himself out. It still isn’t started at start time, and I charge down the escalator while he continues to pull the cord. With no weapon and a sore arm, I effectively dispatch CHENZ A!

Whatever Peyton Manning used.

FMB isn't the most agile guy these days. I think Chenza can finish him off quickly.
Posted via Mobile Device

I’m able to move around. The doc wants me in the chair, but life or death on the line, I’m on my feet!

Wait...are you the guy with the bunny ear feet?

Yes. But I’m able to walk well, and this is an enclosed space.