Hypothetical: Helping people versus screwing people over.
 

I'm witnessing a situation that has me intrigued, and thought it would make a good poll.

Imagine that you have a Class-A friend. A Class-A friend is the Barney Rubble to your Fred Flintstone. You do things together and hang out together all the time, and you talk about stuff passionately, like whether K-Mart would have been better than Target if Jaclyn Smith had been used more extensively as a spokeswoman.

You have a chance to do something for your A-friend that you think will be really cool. And big. Like, you can set him up on a date with a woman who has exactly the same kinky fetishes that he does. Or you can point him to his all-time favorite car, a 1981 DeLorean, at an absurdly low price. Or you can get him a deal on a Panda Express franchise, and we all know that a Panda Express franchise is a lock on wealth.

However, this gesture on your part comes with a catch. In order to help your A-friend, you know that you're going to publicly screw someone else over, another person that you know. This person is not a Class-A friend, and they're either already set up to go out with the kinky woman, or they're already negotiating on the DeLorean, or they just signed a lease on a Popeye's chicken next door to the Panda Express site.

This person will know that you screwed them over, and it's going to destroy the relationship. So do you do it?

I'll give you four scenarios of people who get screwed over. In all cases, you're helping your Class-A friend at the expense of these people.


Scenario 1 - Screwing over a Class-B friend.

A Class-B friend is a friend who you'll invite to every party, and you'll socialize with them one-on-one occasionally.

Scenario 2 - Screwing over a Class-C friend.

A Class-C friend is a friend that you'll occasionally invite to parties if you need to fill out a list. They're fun to talk with when you see them.

Scenario 3 - Screwing over a Class-D friend.

A Class-D friend is someone you don't ever really think about, but they're fun to talk to when you happen to run into them.

Scenario 4 - Screwing over a Class-E acquaintance.

An acquaintance is a person you see occasionally and are friendly with, but your relationship is shallow and it takes you a minute to remember their name when you see them.

Scenario 5 - Screwing over a Class-F acquaintance, which is you don't really like, but are friendly with.

A Class-F acquaintance is someone who annoys you and you try to avoid them if you see them first, but at the same time you're not unfriendly at all and you wave in a friendly manner if you see them across the room.

Scenario 6 - Screwing over a Class-G friendly stranger.

A friendly stranger is someone you don't know, but they seemed nice during the minor interaction you had with them.

Woah. Are you screwing me over just by making me read it without a flow-chart?

Easy answer: you **** over the Class A and Class __ friends to put yourself in the best situation.

So what class is the second friend in? If it's a class B or C friend, i probably wouldn't screw them over to help my class A friend.

What drugs are you taking? They might be of interest.

I'm assuming that you have a Class-A friend who has the patience to explain the poll to you.

Just to save some time, you can check the final option.

Bold the important parts please and I'll vote.

The poll gives you flexibility to consider various scenarios.

I feel like somebody got reallllly, realllllllly high, had a philosophical debate with a friend, and now they are taking their "Sudden Clarity Clarence" out on us.

It's all important. You can't vote without a full understanding of the situation and the scenarios.

I don't have any friends. I just watch other people interact with friends, and I find it fascinating.

Well **** give me 15 minutes then I'll vote accordingly.

What if you'd rather screw under a friend? :shrug:

Sorry. There was no other way.