Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 23 - Dartgod versus threebag02
 

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - In free-fall at 20,000 feet, wearing parachutes, and with a snake and gator-filled swamp below you.
Starting Distance - 21 feet

Dartgod

Main Weapon - Indian razorwhip (Urumi)
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 14 Minutes
Special Factors - Naked East Asian women are screaming and running around panicked (Organizer note: in this situation you may assume that they're also free falling and wearing parachutes.)

threebag02

Main Weapon - Baseball Bat with six nails studded into it
Backup Weapon - Bowie knife

Prep Time - 3 Minutes
Special Factors - You ate some really, really bad sushi the night before and are afflicted with a violent case of diarrhea

On a side note, I almost had a name spoonerism, and discovered that a great spoof account of Dartgod would be named Dartbag.

The razor whip sword is difficult to master but he has plenty of time to figure it out.

This is a very rare situation where diarrhea could actually be used as a weapon.

Dartgod uses Indian razorwhipon threebag02's parachute, game over.

That's a good point. Those razor whips have double or triple the reach of a bat as well.</br></br> Thinking...

I honestly have no idea.

gravity wins. everytime.......

Dartgod in a blowout

That razor whip will be of no use in freefall. All threebag has to do is deploy his chute immediately. Let Dong hit the swamp first and try and fight off the gators while 3bag floats down and clubs Dong like a baby seal.

Winner-threebag

Why couldn’t Dartgod do the same thing?

Reading comprehension


http://agencyingrammicro.com/wp-cont...ENSION_FB1.jpg

They're both gonna get a good view of flapping Asian titties and whistling vaginas, before both contestants ultimately meet their death by swamp gators.

Dart's cords/chute are destroyed by the Urumi. He free falls to his death. I laugh and shit myself

The 3bag reaches the swamp first, uses his bat and Bowie knife to fend off the gators until Dart floats in only to get a bat upside his head or a Bowie knife to the gut.:D
No way a whip beats a bat w/ nails and a Bowie knife loses to a whip.