If Adam Teicher reported on regular news stories what would the headlines be?
 

Captain impressed by what he's seen of the Titanic.

Can't think of any more without getting too political but come up with your own fluff headlines for Americas least insightful sports reporter.

WE LANDED ON THE MOON!

scientists shocked to learn that human body needs water and oxygen to survive.

Research shows that tornadoes are a major contributor to homeowner's insurance claims in Oklahoma.

A detailed report as to how he lands less tang than a nun.

Recent reports suggest that JFK was assassinated, did not die of natural causes.

Grass is green, sky is blue, water is wet.

Pain starts in nerve endings.

"Boring obvious headline with a slight play on words"

"My poop was runny"

Chief concerns and Royal pains.

Parents find out kids like ice cream.

JFC, reporters/columnist's don't decide the headlines of their story.

"Cock in balls all day eve day"

Mayor optimistic about town