A dying boy's last/only wish
 

I dont know if anyone recalls, Ive mentioned this before a couple times but a close friend has a son that has Ewing Sarcoma which is a fairly rare form of bone cancer. He's had it since he was 9 and is 15 now, soon to be 16. In the last few months it has become extremely aggressive and he was put on hospice a couple weeks ago. His doctor doesn't think he'll make it until the end of the summer, as there are many new tumors and one behind his eye that is growing so fast you can actually see his eyeball starting to protrude.

Ive done everything I can to help this kid to keep him comfortable and as happy as possible the last couple months. When asked what he wants, lately his answer is always the same: to get laid. He doesn't want to die a virgin. Honestly I dont even know if he could do anything sexual but that's all he talks about now to anyone that will listen. He's even telling his doctor and hospice nurses. They all laugh and that makes him even more angry. Ive tried to explain to him that its likely not going to happen but its not getting through.

If he could handle the trip I'd take him to Nevada and find a legal brothel but he's not well enough to travel. Any suggestions?

Hooker.

/thread

Offer up your latest domestic nightmare/girlfriend.

I dont think he wants to lose his virginity to his mom.

I dont want to go this route for fear of her being an undercover cop.

Dress up like a girl and take one for the team.

Well, does he really want to get laid or not?

You could try trolling the Internet for an appropriately aged girl for him but good luck convincing the fbi that the underage girl was for an appropriately aged boy dying of cancer.

Hooker is your only likely way to get the kid what he wants but double good luck finding a hooker willing to risk a statutory rape charge.

He's in Springfield.

Oh shit! Didn't notice the age... Whoops.

Nix the hooker idea! Abort! Abort!

Then head to the trailer park and troll for an appropriately aged girl? :shrug:

and THAT is your problem right there.

His best option is to find a girl in his class that is willing to pop his cherry as a final wish. All BS aside, my thoughts and prayers too you and yours. I can't possibly imagine losing someone that young who was that close to me.

Sounds like it's time to call in a favor from your ex wife.

Ask one of his school teachers? :shrug:

Guys, we're talking about hookers here. I seriously doubt they're worried about a stat rape charge for banging a 16 year old.

He could also just tell them that the kid is 18.

Buy him a case of grape gatorade, let everything take care of itself.