Hypothetical: Get your time travel assignment here.
 

Here's the situation: you show up for work on Monday morning, and as you're drinking your initial cup of coffee or Dr. Pepper, an e-mail arrives from your CEO with one of those red exclamation points on it. You open it up.

In a surprise move, your company is moving all operations to the Central African Republic. You can relocate there at a wage of 50 cents per day, plus the company will cover the cost of your first 100 rounds of self-protection ammo, or you can get laid off. You take the second option.

You start browsing through the job ads and come across this one:

Local community college seeks documenting historian. Must be open to new cultures, foods, and experiences.

You answer the ad and you get an interview immediately once they see your resume line item about proficiency in the Microsoft Office suite. You go to the interview and they ask questions about how much you need coffee and electricity and indoor plumbing. They seem satisfied with your answers.

A few days later, you get the nice e-mail that you’ve been accepted into the Twin Pines Community College Time Travel Project as a documenting historian. As it turns out, one of the dental technician students wired some machinery together oddly and created a time machine, so now Twin Pines is the world leader in time travel.

Your assignment will be to go back into the past, live for a year, and document what you see. You can pick your landing location anywhere on the earth. The only challenge is that the time machine picks a random year and no one can control it. You’ll arrive on January 1st according to the Gregorian calendar and depart on December 31st, but no one will know what year until you arrive. The machine overweights more recent years, so the odds are 50 percent that you’ll be more recent than the year 700 AD, and 80 percent that you’ll be more recent than 1,100 BC, but conceivably you could go all the way back to the earth’s beginning.

If you accept the job I’ll randomly assign you a year, and you’ll have to report back on where you would go and what you would try to document. Assume that you will be equipped with a translation device and that you will not change history if you interact with it. Any people or creatures will merely see you as an oddity and minor annoyance, kind of like Michael Strahan on TV shows.

Who wishes to enter the Twin Pines time machine? Volunteer in the thread and I’ll assign you a year.

Can I just go into the future instead to see if the Mahomes pick was an awesome one?

TIA

They won't waste money on that one since it's a given.

Your assigned year is 9864 BC.

In.

I prefer good dental health and regular showers but I'd trade it all to make cell phones go away...

Verdict is not guilty because of spelling violation in original sentencing. Case dismissed!

In!

...

Your assigned year is 71 AD. Lots of good possibilities for study there.

It would be interesting to learn about brothels back in time.

We're looking forward to reading your report about the year 2543 BC.

Sure.

Also, In.

I'm going to break my assigning rule and require ptlyon to study the origin of those words.

You'll be visiting 1331 AD. Don't wear anything that looks witchy.

2842 BC probably has all sorts of interesting stuff to study. We look forward to your report.

This is going to be an interesting one. 1937 AD. I think you may have air conditioning.

Count me in.

In. I would like to have sex with Cleopatra if possible.

Outstanding. I'll go to Germany and see what it was like to be a Nazi before WWII.

But first I'm going to pose as a wealthy Hollywood producer and take 19-year old Rita Hayworth to bed.

https://wcftr.commarts.wisc.edu/site...image%2069.jpg

You almost had a gimme other than a minus sign. You get 1492 BC, which still probably has a lot going on.

In.

You can, I guess, but she'll be kind of dessicated. 1340 AD is your year. I bet there are lots of lusty serfs around.

1827 AD. I think there was a lot of good furniture being made then, and some fun things in the American frontier if you weren't an Indian.

That sounds like a good plan. I'm not sure if it would be fun to see what Japan is doing in Manchuria or not.

GREAT SCOTT !! Look what I found. This coin could have been used to purchase sex at a brothel in ancient Rome in 1331 AD.

<a href="http://s1260.photobucket.com/user/KCTattoo58/media/983b494ac945e3dd251f29e8152bf06e_zpsbsi66mei.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1260.photobucket.com/albums/ii574/KCTattoo58/983b494ac945e3dd251f29e8152bf06e_zpsbsi66mei.jpg" border="0" alt=" photo 983b494ac945e3dd251f29e8152bf06e_zpsbsi66mei.jpg"/></a>

I wondered what we were going to do with our summer this year. Time travel sound very interesting and I would love to participate!

In.

Heck yeah, sign me up.

I'm in.

...but look, if i'm gonna do this......I can't go anywhere cold. I'm bronchial.
so, whoever is in charge...., just nowhere cold, Ok?

A few things.

A. I thought we were supposed to pick our location. Nobody has. Don't you have to pick that before you leave?

B. I might just take the 50 cents a day in the Central African Republic. At least they give you some ammo. The community college has made no such offer, and the chances of the conditions being worse than present day Central African Republic are high.

C. You didn't tell us how much this job pays.

D. **** it. I'm in. The location I picked for no particular reason is New Zealand.

I'd prefer a year where I won't be at risk of getting eaten by a dinosaur please.

Good stuff. In!

Here's my 1937 calendar:

January - May: Rita Hayworth. We will attend the 4th Masters and heckle Byron Smith.

May 6: Watch the Hindenberg disaster live. With Rita Hayworth.

July: Charter a flight and learn what really happened to Amelia Earhart.

July - Sep: Check out Nazi Germany.

October: Attend the 1937 World Series and heckle Joe DiMaggio. With Rita Hayworth.

Rest of the year: Attempt to set up threesome with Rita Hayworth and Katharine Hepburn.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...1b6bc82b8b.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...3e78e3782b.jpg

Rome: While the architecture and plumbing are better than I would have imagined this place mostly sucks.

People feel much differently about bowel movements here. In public. Gutters weren't used this way where I grew up.

I paid a guy to meet an oracle. I figured, hey, might as well have a psychedelic experience while I'm here. Don't do that. Oracles look like meth-whores on an Ethiopian diet plan. She also convulsed a lot and made no ****ing sense while telling me that "Your love will torment you. Your mouth will crack from thirst but you will not drink."

I assume she knew I was a Chiefs fan.

On the plus side there is a slave rebellion forming. On the down side people look much different. There isn't a "jacked" guy here. No one I've met yet could even play TE in the NFL. It's impossible to predict how this will end but I suspect a slap-fight...

Ok, I'm in for some sociological terraforming.

I've always suspected you had a dark side...

Bullshit. Go to the coliseum and watch some bloodsport. Buy a sex slave.

I need a new work challenge, so count me in.

Well, I am disappointed by the no changing history part of the deal. But I am always up for a museum and a live one sounds pretty great. A year is a long time especially if I'm in a time that my feet are my only means of changing location, but what the hell, I am very observant. I'd do a good job. Send me in!

Cool movie.

Rainman did not provide me with much in the way of coinage.

The disease here is indescribable. It makes ****ing a horse look sensible...

1883 AD. Fun with electricity and Chester A. Arthur. Probably other stuff.

789 AD for you. You can pretty much pick your topic since I have no idea what was going on in the world in 789 AD.

You have 21st century knowledge at your disposal. Making a few denarii will be easy. Shit, you can probably find a drunk guard and steal his uniform and do whatever you want the whole year.

I'm assuming that the trip back through time will cure any diseases picked up. Like the transporter.

Also your modern-day immune system will be much stronger compared to the diseases of that time period. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully.

You will enter a time of great turmoil and bad fashion. 1973 AD. You'll be able to see the development of cars such as the Pacer, Gremlin, and Pinto unless you opt for other areas of study.

1659 BC. I think most of the good stuff was happening in Mediterranean climates, but that's up to you to figure out.

I bet you could get a job as a cook, make the first pizza (keeping the recipe secret so as not to alter the timeline), and be making bank in ancient Rome within a week.

Just go a decent ancient Roman restaurant that serves bread, cheese, meat and tomatoes, tell the owner you'll work for free for a week and make him something amazing that will turn his restaurant into a golden goose, and make a pizza.

Then give out some free samples and watch the denarii flow. Then offer your services as pizza chef at an outrageous cost.

Hopefully Rainman's group understands disease better than you do...

I think we're better off concocting tech fixes (like your transporter comment) than relying on the reality of our modern immune systems. Here's a BBC article talking about ancient bacteria being a threat to modern humans, fwiw:

There are diseases hidden in ice, and they're waking up...

Furniture? I feel discriminated against.

Well now...this will be interesting.

You can pick your location after you get your year. (There's a little time-space dissonance involved in that, but don't worry about it.) I'm assuming that people are doing their research and will soon pick their locations and research plans.

The job pays $11.37 per hour plus health care benefits. You also get entry into the pension plan but absolutely cannot make contributions in the past.

You get the year 1994 AD. No one knows anything about that year since it was before the internet was really rolling.

927 BC. There weren't a lot of dinosaurs around then unless you're a strict creationist. You may be a little too early for Greece, but I bet there are other cool civilizations to visit.

You might want to bring your own fire. 45,984 BC. That one should be fun.

In!

1482 BC. We're getting some good traffic in that century. I hope you find something interesting.

496 AD. You missed the Fall of Rome by a short distance, but I bet you can find other stuff to keep you busy.

361 AD. I don't think they had cars then, but you've got some good civilization options to choose from.

1146 AD. I bet they had great chamber music to study. Maybe some knights and stuff. And god only knows what was going on in China and Japan.

So far just a large group of people wandering around the desert so far. Wonder if they need some directions?

So remember, once you get your assigned year, you have to tell us where you're going and what you're going to study.

Tonya Harding wins the national Figure Skating championship. Nelson Mandella becomes president of South Africa. Haiti invaded by USA. First Genetically Engineered Tomatoes Available — use of GM Foods in US approved.

Netscape Navigator released. OJ Simpson flees police in his white ford bronco. Major League Baseball Players Association begin 232 day strike causing 1994 season to be cancelled.

The Whitewater scandal investigation begins. A New Outbreak of the deadly Ebola virus. Lisa Marie Presley marries Michael Jackson. Kurt Cobain commits suicide

It looks like you could clear up some confusion about when Thutmose I died and when Hatshepsut took over.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thutmose_I

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatshepsut

Hatshepsut would be a cool person to follow around. Female pharoahs were rare and she was notable.

I was born in August 1974 Idk the odds of you landing in the whereabouts of mom and dad conception of me. ?

I hope you don't go back to the day of conception, because that would be kind of perverted.

Lucky ****er.

Too bad he can't invent the wheel and bronze tools/weapons and get all the cave-women.

In.

You definitely should hang out with Kurt the day before ... you know... and how fun would it be to go along in the white Bronco?

Maybe I could find Nicole's real killer.

That was for Dartgod. I'm gone back to 1331ad

691 BC. There has to be a lot of cool stuff happening then. You should consider going Olmec to figure out those big stone heads.

Oh, I hadn't thought about that. Excellent call.

Life in 71 AD is not a video game...

It might be even more perverted for Dartgod to do it.

1331 seems like a good year if you like seeing medieval battles.

Doesn't seem like a whole lot went on in 927 BC other than a couple of solar eclipses. Think I'm just going to throw on a leisure suit and catch up with Dartgod in 1973.

Both of you better stay away from my Mom...:cuss:

Is she hot? I could be your father...

I think they are going to target PB's mom just so they can come back and post threads about it

Babylon was sacked. Interesting. But I'd have to go to Iraq. No thanks! ROFL

Going to need to do some research here!