Women: Lean In and Poop at the Office, Already
 

Raiduhs

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/04/lean...e-already.html

Lean In and Poop at the Office, Already
BY MAUREEN O'CONNOR


Public restrooms induce a certain low-level anxiety in users. There are etiquettes to observe; puddles to dodge; sounds to ignore; dilemmas surrounding flushing. But the anxieties of the public restroom need not induce shame, because they are also universal. We are all at the mercy of public restrooms — supermodels, world leaders, regular gals. Shared toilets are equalizers. Sit or squat, we do it in solidarity.

Nonetheless, the Daily Beast's Laura Dimon (daughter of Jamie) reports that "the last office taboo for women" is "doing your business at work." Really?

[W]omen report going to different floors, or walking roundabout routes from their desk to the bathroom. And some say they’ve experienced the “standoff,” when two or more women are in the bathroom, but all decline to do their business until the others leave — instead waiting awkwardly, in silence, writhing in emotional and physical discomfort, until someone surrenders.

These anxieties are not exclusive to females. In seminal guide "How to Poop at Work," Brian Moylan, a man, also describes the "unspoken shitting toilet" phenomenon. Still, women are widely believed to experience greater pooping anxiety than men. Dimon continues with the sad story of one such woman:

Jill, 28, a Vancouver native now working at an insurance company in New York City, said that if she absolutely can’t avoid the act entirely, she lifts her feet off the ground and props them up against the side of the stall to avoid the “chance that the person next to me would recognize my shoes and forever hold in their heads that I was the girl” defecating in the ladies’ room.

How is that even possible? Wouldn't the angle and leverage be all wrong? I'm picturing Jill pooping like a ping-pong show. Her effort is unnecessary: Nobody peeks under the edge of a stall to identify a pooping woman by her shoes. Nobody. (Several Cut staffers note actively avoiding identifying details in that context.) If anything, Jill's actions are counterproductive: If I had reason to believe a woman was pooping in a contorted pretzel position like Jill's, I would stick around to ask for yoga tips. But back to Dimon:

The office environment takes this anxiety and kicks it up a notch. “The workplace still remains men’s space. Women may be more hypervigilant of not breaking rules of gender by monitoring their femininity even more,” [sociologist Samantha] Kwan says. Harvard anthropologist Kimberly Theidon agrees. “Office space is already pre-determined as a masculine space and women enter it,” she says, adding that there is a “long history of women trying to manage their bodies in their workplace,” and a struggle to not be identified with or associated solely with their bodies.

This logic doesn't make a lot of sense, because the workplace that requires a woman to poop right in front of a man is pretty rare. (Ally McBeal's co-ed bathroom notwithstanding.) But since Dimon managed to find a few neurotic females terrified to the point of contortion at the prospect of pooping at work, let's make sure we make this really clear: It is okay to poop at work. Nobody is judging you. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a shit about your shits — we're too busy shitting in our own stalls.

Go poop in your office bathrooms, everyone. It's what our feminist foremothers would have wanted. Every woman deserves a poop of her own.

(more poop links at the original)

Can I watch?

I poop in the ladies restroom to try and help them become more comfortable with it.

:facepalm: Get with the program ladies. Getting paid to defecate is a part of the compensation program. It's not about having to shit at work, it's about reworking your bowel cycle to make sure you excrement at the work place. Between the paid time, and the cost of sewage, it creates a great deal of added income to your bottom line.

The Closed For Maintenance sign outside the womens restroom every other day at my work is in direct conflict with this article. Coincidentally, my employer likes to counteract low morale with onsite food vendors.

Wait? Women have to sit to pee anyway, how on earth do the other women know if she's dropping a deuce or just peeing. Unless she's tearing that shit up. And besides, if you've ever cleaned a women's public restroom, they sure aren't shy about leaving their personal hygiene products laying about every where. This article is stupid.

'Eh, on a side note, I hate public $#itting.

After my 6th grade year there was an "incident" and they removed all the $#itter doors.

Really?

Pissing is one thing but, really, come on, I need my alone squat time...

Women are scared of pooping with someone else around.


Men are proud of spreading the stink.


Venus, Mars, something like that.

I see what you did there.

I've heard rumors of women shitting before, but it can't be common enough that they need toilets at the office, can it? What kind of women are you hiring?

Hell, in boot camp, there were about 5 stalls. In front of those stalls was a wall that was about waist high. We would be told ‘ok, Port side, ‘Pump and Dump’” etc.
The port side of the barracks would single file line into the the head. The line would snake around the waist high walls and you’d line up in front of the toilet.
No doors.

So if you had to shit, there was a dude standing in front of you about 4’ away, until another stall opened up ahead of him in line, then he could move. …..then another dude would take his place.

I didn’t shit for about 4 or 5 days because of this. Got back from Chow one day and we were about to start doing something, and I got up and hauled ass to the head; had no choice, and didn’t care of the consquences of going without being told. Absolutely DESTROYED the toilet.

I'm out.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm ONLY an interwebs badass?

Interwebs ONLY...

People in their 20's still give a ****, by the time you are 30 you just want a good shit and who cares who sees you.

I'm glad my wife doesn't poop. That's disgusting.

No doors on the stalls when I was in Basic either. I'd get up at 2 am to take a shit. LMAO

lol

after shitting in front of another dude 4' away, I no longer have any issues poopping away from home base.

....standing in front of another dude whilst he's dumping is another story.

And we let these citizens vote... :bolt:

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
Me too when possible.

...won't evern go into the shower process lol.

It was Navy boot camp, so I'll tee that one up for you guys.

I'm ok with killing a man.

I don't think I could push one out in public though.

Nope.

I've consulted with myself and I'm sure of it.

I'm a no-go on the public grunt-n-push...

I'll poop in front of anybody. Don't care. It's the wiping that gets to me. I can't do that in front of anybody.

LMAO

There are five of us at work. Three male attorneys and two female support staff. One men's room and one ladies' room. Neither of us females are shy. Coffee works as a laxative of sorts on both of us, and we both drink it every morning. However, ours never smells like the men's do, and we have to walk past theirs to get to the break room. GAG!

Anyway, the story is complete BS.

They're just looking forward to walking in on you.

When I poop in public, I try to make as big a splash as possible. I'm talkin the sound of dumping a sack of potatoes into a toilet while yelling out "mother of all that is not holy!"
Usually gets a chuckle or two, especially if I'm in the women's restroom.

LMAO

Guy, if you want to gaze at my pecker it's cool. It's not much to dwell on. My wife will swear on it.

Hell, most of my weigh-in's in grade school were nude just so I could cut weight.

But squat time, man, that's when you need to go.

There are two times I want no man around: dumping or shooting a load...

Riiiiight.

:fart:

and there was no talking allowed.

....just awkward silence, sans the occasional 'plop' into the water, muffled grunts, and farts (with great accoustics).


Good Times.

You are one sick, sick twisted ****...

"You've sunk my Battleshit!"

Hell when I was in High School the locker room didn't even have stalls, much less doors. Just three shitters in the same room with the showers out in the open for all to see. You just had to get over it.

This.

I think I cause intestinal disorders in myself by holding in shits that simply must be set free, but I have to wait until I am in the cozy constraints of my own homey shitter.

Then, often, I can't coax the snarling beast from its lair by waiting so long to try and free it from its foul constraints.

The average person shits out 410lbs of feces every year.

No shit?

:LOL:

ROFL
Posted via Mobile Device

Holy shit that is over a pound a day.

http://i.imgur.com/3TxnggM.gif

Actually, I was a little off. It's more like 360lbs per year...

Some people are more full of shit than others.

:thumb:

****, that's nice, but I go for the assplosion. I want it to sound like Hiroshima up in that mutha****a.

I look forward to weighing myself before and after a poop. If it happens to be a big poop I can estimate the weight. That's how I keep score.

Haven't taken a dump at work in 15 months.

The elusive deuce drop?

Elusive for a reason. I gots to have a sanctuary.

:clap: Absolutely!

It is kind or weird though. I do tend to use the restroom on a schedule. Getting up in the morning, once after a cup or two of coffee in the morning, once at lunch, after work, and before bed. I'm not pooping every time, but I could almost tell you what time it is on a non-workday without a clock by whenever I have to go to the bathroom.

I call that time of day poop-a-clock time.

Thanks!?!

You're not officially christened into Chiefsplanet until you've been abused by a mod. Congratulations!

For me, that formula would work out to 446 lbs. per year, almost a 1/4 ton!

Humbled and honored. Do I send a thank you note or what?

:thumb:

Congratulations?

Basically, that comes to about double your body weight every year (slightly less).

New mission: poop weighing

This reminds me of a story my friend who was/is a custodian. When he told it, he was pretty traumatized from the previous night's events.

He was cleaning the ladies room toilets and was in a stall doing what he did when the door was thrown open and a burly lady attorney barreled into the room, kicked open the door and was blowing mud....violently....as she sat.

She acknowledged him being there during the act.


Also.....this article is false. Talk to any custodian or any bar tender and the'll tell you that women destroy the work shitter all of the time and are filthier pigs than men in the rest room.

Well, the story is true for some women at least, though. My wife for one. She absolutely does NOT use public restrooms to the extent possible, and for pooping -- forget it.

Most disgusting post of the year goes to luv.

When I was about 13 years old I went on a hiking trip to Philmont Scout Ranch. After 10 days of hiking in the mountains we returned to the base camp. I walked into a stall to do my business and there was a turd sitting in the bowl that was as big as my forearm from elbow to wrist. I was an athletic 155 lbs at the time, not some scrawny kid. This thing would not flush, and I was actually compelled to go bring others in to take a look at it.

Not exactly on topic, but I just had to share.

I once wrote an ode to lady dumps

<div style="background-color:#000000;width:368px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:arc:video:southparkstudios.com:f112efaa-ed00-11e0-aca6-0026b9414f30" width="360" height="293" frameborder="0"></iframe></div></div>

There Once was a Woman from Nantucket,
and she shit like a horse.


I'm not very good at poems or limericks.

Just break the cycle and drop that deuce. At work.

Let me try to help

There once was a woman from nantucket
and she shit like a horse
with no effort she filled up a bucket
stunk out the office without remorse

You are a modern day Longsworth...

.

..

Yeah, thanks a lot Luv. Here I am, 46 years old, married, and a father of two, and I now find out that women poop? It's like finding out about Santa all over again.

Oh please. I've seen you guys talk about the same stuff.

LMAO

"Still, women are widely believed to experience greater pooping anxiety than men." ROFLROFLROFL

DUH! men don't give a shit! (pun intended)
if ya gotta poop...ya gotta poop.
my office has the mens and womens restrooms directly next to cubicles! I mean, like, there's a cubicle with an employee working in it about 8 feet from the door of each restroom. now me personally....if I'm in a stall and someones leaving, I'll wait until the door closes to engage in audible dookage. but some dudes...I swear they must wait for that door to open and PLLLLLLLLLL (is that how you spell a fart/poop noise?) I mean sometimes it's so damn bad. and you KNOW those people sitting right outside the door gotta be like.....DAAAAAYYYUMMM! ROFL

Precisely!

I got 1.3 pounds this morning. I just bought a new digital scale.

And your first thought was to poop on it? ;) ROFL ROFL

Ahh, memories. LMAO

Will keep you posted.

pffff. don't waste money on a scale.
I 'm pretty damn accurate in measuring weight in my hand when making hamburget patties.

I'm going that route, and spend the money on save on Natural Light.

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/1298/haikun.jpg
http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/2916/haikun2.jpg

http://www.yankodesign.com/2009/01/0...-skinny-after/