A metermaid is walking by a bank one day when she sees a businessman walking to his Jaguar. Suddenly out of nowhere ,a pickup truck sideswipes the the businessman as he is getting into his car.

Metermaid: "holybajeebus mister are you okay?"
Businessman:OMG! Look what that crudhead(censored for this thread) did to my car!"

The metermaid is taken aback by the man's materialism...

Metermaid :" But sir don't you realise that your left arm is missing?!"
Businessman : "Gosh Darn It!!"
Metermaid :!?
Buisnessman:"My Rolex!"

whats green and sings and elvis parcley

A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the woods. The bear looks at the rabbit and asked "do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "no", so the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt with it.

I said clean jokes, not lame ones.
:p

:LOL:
This would be a dirty joke wouldn't it? I don't know. I'm sooo confused now.

Depends on if you take it from the bear or rabbit's perspective.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Put in jail for stealing them from the zoo?

I give up, what?

...hell if I know.

Oh so really just wanted to find out.
:hmmm:

Say it aloud instead of reading it.

dirty joke : little boy fell in a mud puddle

clean joke : little boy took a bath

A school bus driver is picking up kids in the morning. His bus is painted on the outside with characters from Sesame Street.

He picks up a kid who is known to be mean-spirited named Leonard. Leonard gets on the bus and sits behind the driver.
They drive on, and on the next stop pick-up the Patty twins. Two overweight girls.
Leonard says "Hi Fat Patty's!".
The driver get's upset and says they are not fat, they are obesse.
The next stop they pick-up a "slow" kid named Ross.
Leonard chimes in again "It's reeruned Ross!"
The driver says, "he's not reeruned, he's special."
By this time the other children are quite upset with Leonard, and one of them shouts "Leonard cheats in class and picks his bunyons!"
The driver is furious at the children's behavior, and turns around and begins yelling and screaming at them all to be sit down and be quiet.
While he is turned around yelling, he sees a policeman behind the bus, with his lights on.
The driver pulls over, and the officer approaches.
"Sir, you just drove right through that stop sign with all of these kids on your bus. You could've gotten the all kids killed. You really need to concentrate on the road a bit more!"
The driver replies:
"Officer, you'd find it hard to concentrate too if you had (sing to old Big Mac jingle) two obesse Pattys, special sox, Lester picking bunyons on a Sesame Seed bus!"

You're not very good at this are you?