Scientists Build Orgasm Machine For Women
 

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (CBS Charlotte) – Scientists have patented a new machine that will provide orgasms for women at the push of a button.

A little smaller than a packet of cigarettes, the machine is designed to be a medical implant that uses electrodes to trigger an orgasm. The device would help some women who suffer from orgasmic dysfunction.

During the operation, a patient would remain conscious so that a surgeon could correctly pinpoint the right nerves to fit the electrodes in a patient’s spinal cord. Then, a signal generator would be connected which would be most likely implanted under the skin of a patient’s buttocks.

Stuart Meloy, a surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, N.C., came up with idea by accident.

“I was placing the electrodes and suddenly the woman started exclaiming emphatically,” he said to Newscientist. “I asked her what was up and she said, ‘You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that’.”

Meloy explained that the idea is that orgasms could happen at the push of a button when the implant could be triggered by a hand-held remote control.

However, he explained the treatment is intended to be used in the most serious of orgasmic dysfunction cases because the device is as invasive as a pacemaker.

Medical trials will be conducted by a Minneapolis-based company later this year.

They cloned George Clooney?

Will this be covered by Obamacare?

Only if his wife finds out about it...

maybe I can have the remote to the tv back.
sec

LMAO

No woman really thinks he's any good in bed. Just pretty to look at.

My wife has volunteered to answer that question definitively, if needed.

And Brad Pitt.

And Mark Webber.

LMAO

I can't believe this is possible. A real breakthrough.

Oh I'd throw down with your wife for Mark Webber. I feel like Brad has to know his way around a bedroom or his freak of a wife would have left years ago. George would be the guy that doesn't have to try anymore, so doesn't. He'd just lay there and look pretty.

You take that #@it back about Tyler Durden, RIGHT ****ING NOW!:#

Finally!

Now to be fair they need to make the remote so it only activates when the woman is giving a bj.

I'm just happy to be in the mix, honestly.

WWII is over.

We saved your ass.

You can dream higher now...

I had to look that one up.

LMAO

"I want to be an astronaut!"

"Look, you're British, so tone it down a bit."

I don't see the big deal. For decades, I've been providing women orgasms by pushing their button.

lol

they fake bro

yea. what loochy said.

Every hacker in the world is going to turn their attention to this.

You guys do realize that you can make a girl climax without this, right?

You're quite the optimist about this place.

Have you actually SEEN me? :shake: :sulk:

I doubt anyone on the BB thinks any moderately-sane woman would put up with my $3it.

If not for that...

hey how you doin?

At the patient's request, I wonder if you could rig this up at the same frequency as their garage door opener. It would make for a great end to the work day.

The device would help some women who suffer from orgasmic dysfunction.

Of course, I've never been with a woman who doesn't suffer orgasmic dysfunction.

Absolutely wonderful, thanks for asking.

I think they already have one of these. It's called the sybian.

"The finest trick of the devil is to persuade you that he does not exist."

Is that the saddle looking thing with the remote controlled dildo?...

I didn't mention which kind of dysfunction.

So I don't understand why someone wouldn't just sit in their house and keep the button depressed for eternity.

Women get bored more quickly than cats...

We have more shit to do than cats.
I always fall asleep right after.
Like, RIGHT after.
No cuddling.
Go watch TV.

Yeah.

Other than the fact we'd never get along long term and we agree on almost nothing you're PERFECT!

Yes. I wonder if those things are as good as they seem (based on internet pron which, of course, I have never actually watched).

They were like $5,000 in the early 90's.

Er....so I hear.

I'd like to think they're much more affordable now.

It'd make my sundays a breeze...

It would be one helluva 12 to 14 minutes.

If I take a hydrocodone first I can push it to 50.

Well, I'm not sure if its just that, the beer, or a combination of both but **** it.
Spin the wheel - take a ride...:)

I wonder if you could rig it up to a Madden Game where it turns on every time you score. It would be a great way to get the wife interested in gaming.

I see absolutely no reason why you couldn't.

In fact, I'm almost positive you could with a simple webcam, the right Raspberry Pi Ultimate Starter Kit, and way more time than anyone outside of Clay has...

I actually wonder how many men put giving their female an orgasm at the top of the list when commencing intercourse.

Are we trying to put ourselves out of business?

Depends: married or single...

I do. I think men on average are absurdly shortsighted when it comes to this. The more you give, the more you'll get. ;)

Both.

Nice guys finish last.

Completely different.

Marriage goes in phases. Highs and lows. Better and worse.

Single requires a person (mostly male) to be at the top of their game every at bat...

Dickheads finish alone, in front of high speed internets...

Unfortunately there are men that can't. Thus did we invent the fake. To get you the hell off of us. AAs definition of insanity involves doing something over and over again expecting a different result. The intrinsic nature of a man to fix things is uncomfortable at times. Especially when he sucks.

Appreciate the fake, guys.

Indeed. Kind of, well, creepy, but my mother actually impressed the importance of the female orgasm upon my brothers and I when we were becoming adolescent. I actually knew guys in high school who weren't even aware that females could have orgasms...

Same time, but not every time.

Not me.

No fakes here. If she can't she can't, which can definitely happen from time to time. Faking it merely causes confusion about what works and what doesn't.

Women aren't as easy as men when it comes to orgasm, but trial and error and imagination and understanding certain basic facts (most women can't come from penetration alone), etc., and you can definitely understand causes and effects, and use them to (great) advantage.

Me neither.

And there's the dishonesty women despise.

There are exceptions: you ****ing ruined your foot at work and it's so sore you can't think and yet you relent and....just......whatever....just.....JUST already.

I get that.

I don't even need the guy to be concious.

Boom.

That works both ways, honey.

Yeah, that would drive me nuts.

I'm all for open dialogue between a couple. No say my name kind of stuff because that shit is just hilarious out loud. But honest communication during the act of love is a good thing. Sometimes it's just not because you're doing something wrong tho. Sometimes it really is just us.

Faking it for some dude you tripped and accidently fell into bed with, why thats just good sense. Faking it for your dude just because your brain is actually more interested in how much laundry you have left, is good sense too.

"Only men need to be loved, women need to be wanted."

That's a horrible source to quote stuff from, but I like it.

All I need is a 12 pack and 1 lunesta and I'm up (even if I don't remember it) for a solid 8 hours...










This drug is the ****ing devil. I might call you a muppet, Prussian soldier, or my mother in the moment. You'll be having the time of your life and I'll be dreaming of playing RISK with Lennin and Churchill...

I wake up...smell the fluid on my hand...get a knowing smile...fall back to sleep.

Some of my first memories were of my dad sitting around a kitchen table with a bunch of old guys talking about politics and playing Risk. While I made them all coffee and served them food all day.

Oh God.
Epiphany.

I think I need to go smoke.

how do you feel about being covered in hot sauce?

I wake up...smell the fluid on my hand...get a knowing smile...fall back to sleep.

Right, that makes sense. Having never engaged in casual sex in my life (for good or for bad), I can't really relate.

There is no way you're faking. I know that because your starfish is flexing like a hungry bird's mouth....like a breathing fish..........or like a hungry sarlaaci pit monster about to have some sand people thrown into it.

a.k.a The new doggie style

Now, and forever, you'll be the "Black Widow" to me...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_EaV221bYas...Widow++(1).jpg

Only Asian-islander-hispanic-the-****-ever-mix-of-American-you-is...

LMAO @ this thread. Some of you have to have awful sex lives.

When you're doing it right, your woman will want it more than you.

I slept with a friend that I cared enough about that I didn't want to hurt, but not enough that I wanted to train him. I already wore my scarlett letter once, I'm not picking up the casual label too. :P

ahahah I would have made a damn good Russian. Except for the brown skin and small breasts.

Maybe a black russian.

That's true.

Until it's not. And you have problems.

Or hit a "lull" and a weekend of fun in Vegas reminds you both why you got together to begin with.

Or you've been hitting it for 12 years and unless you're one part Isaac Asimov and one part Anthony Bourdain it's a strange road to new...

My boyfriend knows that I led a celibate marriage and it led to bad behavior. I believe he subconciously thinks that if he doesn't stuff it in me, someone else will.

He would never ever ever ever ever. ever. say that out loud.
Nor is it true.

And as benetton ad as my ideology is, I've never dated a sand person.

A celibate marriage isn't marriage, it's having a roommate with legal headaches attached.

You're closer than you know.

Think southern Ruskie.

There's no such beast.

The Bolsheviks make the KKK look tolerant...