I brine it and smoke it on the Weber off to one side with a tin foil shield. I save the drippings to make a Turkey and Sausage Gumbo over the weekend.

Probably.

I simply tell the wife to cook a turkey.

Traeger but cook at normal temperature

Just 4 of us this year so I'm doing Sous Vide turkey breast.

Using this recipe i've done before.

My daughter texted me asking how long she should microwave a 25 lb turkey. I told her that she should put it out on her balcony and sun bake it for about 4 hours instead.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hMkUeZY_cqU

Cook your 22lb bird in 20 min. Cook anything really fast actually.

This turkey lived close to you?

I prepare my turkey by explaining to it that it's nothing personal.

This will be the third year in a row for a Joe's KC turkey. They know how to cook/smoke WAY better than anyone else.