You really should be able to touch. Otherwise, it's like going to a restaurant and not being allowed to eat the food after they serve it.

Well.... YEAH!

I remember a stripper coming up to me and saying "You see that guy in a wheel chair? He pays me 1000 dollars a week to talk to him, his dick doesn't even work"

I've been. Did the dating a stripper thing once. That was enough. I don't think I've dropped more than $1000 at them cumulative and at least half that was on $7 beers. While I used to enjoy an occasional lap-dance, I don't think $20 is a wise investment. It's probably $30-40 by now. Not really my scene these days.

The one time I went to a strip club I actually had a pretty good time, but that's because we brought our socially awkward friend, Private R (for story's sake), with us. To fully picture this story you have to understand Private R's mannerisms; he is very herky jerky, think Napoleon Dynamite drinking his Gatorade.

We were in the Army and decided it was time for our friend, Private R, to see a pair of tits ( I truly don't know if he had before). We went to an ATM and pulled out $100 each (a group of 6), had the most of the $100 broken down into singles and $5 and headed out.

When we got there we made sure we had front row seats and started to pile our stacks of $1 and $5 bills in front of Private R to catch the attention of the dancer. Once he was noticed and she approached, his level of discomfort quickly rose. He started looking anywhere but at the girl and shooting us the "you're an asshole" look. She started talking to him and asking why he was uncomfortable as she undressed. This made him go into his shell even faster.

She finally gave up on trying to talk and I think she realized what we were doing, so she laid on her back and gave the "come here" gesture with her finger while her legs were spread. Since Private R had never been to a strip club before he didn't quite understand the no touching protocol. While seated, he started to lean his face right in between her legs. He was basically going in for the motorboat on her vag. My friends and I all shouted, "NOOO!!!" But this woman was quick. She grabbed him by his shirt as he leaned forward and pulled him on top of her.

I shit you not, he went full on Mission Impossible:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vamOd8n4vA...MI+ceiling.jpg

all while staring back at us, panicking, like what the hell do I do now. If only I had a camera to capture the look on his face. Ah, good times.

No touching?

Shiiiiiiattt. Bring a chic. We had flat out crotch rubbing going on when I was there, and I she and I made out while I pinched her nipples. And this was Sapphire, where the bitches are professional and HAWT.

Like I said, bring a chic. It's not even the same experience.

Does your corn hole hurt this morning?

The high quality cocaine alone will cost 500-1000 dollars.

I believe they were talking about female strip clubs/strippers Phil.

I never have. Considered it though. Why was once enough? You get jealous? Mad? Very curious about your statement...

Roger Goodell.

Actually it was Pioli. He decreed no touching strippers or candy bar wrappers.

Working on a harvest crew and six of us including 17yr old Ben (looked 14) went to a strip club in OK City once. Got Ben in by promising to keep him out of trouble. Boss gave one of the girls a $20 and she sashayed over and sat down the stage in front of him, hooked her heels behind his head and literally stuck his nose in it. He flipped his chair over backwards and almost drug her of the stage in the process. We got asked to leave shortly afterwards. Same night I got to look down the business end of a .45 but nobody got hurt. A pretty memorable night.

Thanks for all the replies folks. I had a great time last night. Didnt spend too much money and the dancers were all great. I esp liked this one dancer (Maria) from Costa RIca. She kept calling me "Papi" all night long. Kinda turned me on haha.

ANd I do agree with you guys that bringing other females with ya to the strip club is a GREAT idea. The strippers then seem to feel more comfortable with ya and realize you're not a complete creep lol

Pics of said Maria or the negging will begin.