A relationship question.
 

I was talking to my lady the other day about cheating.

I asked her questions about it, pushing the boundaries of what she would consider cheating. For instance, what if I decided to **** another man? Is that cheating? She said it would weird her out greatly and yes, she would consider it cheating.

What if I was ****ing the guy to hurt him? Like, what if I ****ed a dude for some overzealous hazing for a fraternity I'd theoretically be in?

She thought about that one a long time. I suppose because romance was not involved, it made her question the nature of cheating.

Cheating, she eventually concluded. Also, very clearly, a sex crime.

Alright, how about an animal? What if I ****ed a cow?

She gave it a hard think, and said that THAT TOO is cheating. Also, beastiality. But I would be cheating on her with a horse. Or whatever it was.

Alright. How about a tree? It's a living organism, but it's not an animal with a vagina or anus.

Finally, paydirt. She discerned that ****ing a tree is extremely disturbing for her to even think about, however in her eyes I wouldn't be cheating if I did it.

So my question to you guys is:

Do you know any hot trees you guys can hook me up with?

I'm looking for slutty trees, too. Trees that are just ****ing asking for it.

And before you ask, yes: I do like some junk in the trunk.

http://www.lughertexture.com/images/...2041956203.png

Oh hell yes.

Let's do this thing.

I recommend flowering dogwood if you're looking for a quickie that's both effective and pleasurable. If you want to work for your money shot, there's always the sugar maple. If you're simply wanting a good old fashioned without any further contact, then the lodgepole pine is your bag. Me personally? I live by the motto "once you go quaking aspen, you never go back". If you have any specific questions, PM me.

Ask and you shall receive.

:p

Obvious choice, young and firm to boot.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QHPGiGdArF...0/IMG_2465.JPG

Liberals = Any Two Will do

Go **** an evergreen.

Is it just trees? Or any kind of plant?

If you're not picky...

http://amazing-seeds.com/images/saguaro%20cactus.jpg

I responded with a rep.

If Direckshun never responded, it sounds like you were barking up the wrong tree.

I'm looking for really any plant that's sturdy enough to take a good rogering.

Flowers, as have been suggested, are not strong enough.

A cactus is. But I don't like it rough.