That little bastard with the BB gun is going to bury one in your dickhole. Better sic Cujo on his ass as soon as you're done going Tony Gwynn on Pest. Give the dog something to do while Destiny takes your temperature.

I think Pest here. The sword has longer reach than the bat. One swift swing to the head of the dog, jump back and stab Pablo. The whole thing is over in 45 seconds rendering the kid irrelevant

No ****ing way. I like Pest, but you've gotta be pretty proficient with a two handed sword to pull off a move that smooth.

Pest, how skilled are you with a big was sword?

It shouldn't be too tough of a maneuver. Pablo wouldn't be able to charge very hard because of the dog. Sure he could close some ground, but Pest should be able to keep the distance he needs because he's unencumbered.

Even if he just wounds the dog, should be fine because the pair won't get any faster.

If it's a respectable sword the balance should be good enough to do the hacking without any trouble. I watched some interesting videos from scholagladiatoria (link) about how swords are made for speed and aren't some lumbering heavy ass weapon. With the serious length advantage it should work. Like I said, it will take some respectable footwork, but I like Pest here.

I was a huge nerd back in the day and used to have sword fights with my friends. ****ing truth.

There’s a normal crowd of people in the strip club which means Pablo and his dog have to maneuver all of that.

Does the dog (assuming it survived) get to watch??

The dog is dead. Pest could hold the damn sword straight out and kill that thing as it charges, pulling Pablo along for the ride. Good luck swinging that bat one handed with a ****ig dog dragging you around and jerking on your arm. BB gun kid is irrelevant. Pablo doesn’t have enough balance for this.

Pest’s Only disadvantage is his tiny soft non flexible baby fists.

If the dog survives, it would spend all of its extra time sniffing crotches.

Pest throws his wife to the dog and lands a clean swipe on Pablo.

You think he's bringing his wife to a strip club?

Gotta go with Pablo. He seems to have the advantage between the dog, and the kid shooting Pest (who the **** brought an 8 year old to a strip club btw). Also the lighter weapon will help. Gotta take Pablo!

He feasts on innards as the stripper feasts on my innards.

Maybe she works there.

You people need to walk a dog sometime. Especially one that wants to ****ing kill something. No way you could win a fight with a dog chained to you. Pestilence losing is a crime.