It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.


Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.


Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'


'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.


So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.


A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'


'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'


The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.


Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'


'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'


'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood !

LOL, good one for the kids

An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replied, "That would be my wife."

dang...sounds like me.

hope not Q. saw this on Orange Is The New Black and thought of this thread

old feller goes to the doc to get checked out.
doc says well, I've got bad news, and I've got more bad news. you've got cancer. and you've got alzheimer's.
old feller shrugs and says, well, at least I don't have cancer. :D

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.

What is the cheapest kind of meat? Deer Balls. You get them under a buck.

Why are NYers so depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is just New Jersey.

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'

Good ...Timely and funny

Bump...

It has been too long and love reading these. I use to copy these and read them to the kids whilst traveling down to S MO for camping/canoeing. The kids are now in college:(


The Detective was interviewing a gang related incident that occurred in Central Park.

He was asking the turtle about the gang of snails that attacked and mugged him. Under intense questioning of all the details...

the turtle replies, "I dunno, it happened ssooo fast".

DADA DEUMP:)

i did a search for 'recipe', this thread was on the list. so in honor of a clean joke, i present this:D

http://images.shape.mdpcdn.com/sites...oodles-700.jpg

Then the midgets...

Found ROMPER ROOM